Hunger
by Zexionienzo
Summary: Based on the holocaust, depressing, smut, dont like dont read. changed rating for violence and yaoifullness in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first SebastionXCiel fanfic, so be kind! ( I apologize if it's horrible.) Will be set in the time of World War 2, starting in the Netherlands. Ciel will be called Calder until a little later in the story. All shall be explained. some back ground information: Germany invaded the Netherlands in 1940, World War two began in 1939, Germany took over part of France in 1940 as well. Germany and Italy are allies. People that were taken to concentration camps include: Jewish people, Polish people, Slovic peoples; Soviets and Romanies (Gypsies), basically people who weren't of the Aryan Race (blonde hair, blue eyes), the mentally ill, deaf, physically disabled and mentally retarded, homosexuals and transsexuals, and political opponents. They also performed medical expiraments on twins and other prisoners in concentration camps. Yea. I think that's all for now. Hope you enjoy! –Zexionienzo :p**

"Calder, get the recipe book from the top shelf. I need it for dinner tonight." I sat up drowsily from my post by the window and stretched on my toes to reach the book my mother called for. When I gave it to her, she smiled fondly at me and gave me a quick peck on ym check. I brushed her away and headed out of the kitchen.

"I'm too old for your coddling, mother. I'm sixteen now." My mother chuckled.

"Alois is the same age as you and he loves my kisses!" she replied, the hint of laughter evident in her voice. I chuckled at the thought of my twin. Oh Alois. What were we ever to do with him?

"Good Afternoon, everybody! I am home!" A thin, short boy with chin length blonde hair and blue eyes waltzed into the room, hands on his purple-clad hips. I turned round, glaring at my brother.

"Alois! Where have you been?" My mother yelled at him, her voice filled with worry, but her face masked with anger. My mother wasn't one to be messed with. What she says goes, and that is the end of the question.

"I was kissing Claude." Alois said, sticking his tongue out seductively. My mother's face went bright red. Claude was Alois' best friend. He was French, like us, and moved to Amsterdam around the same time we did. My mother's face was torn with rage.

"Do you know there is a war going on, Alois? Why don't you at least try to be more careful!" My mother spat, her eyes clouding with worried tears. She didn't care that Alois was gay, she cared more about him being caught.

"I know there's a war going on, Mother. I'm not stupid like you all seem to think I am!"alois screeched, eyes wide. He ran up to his room, holding his face in his hands. I turned ot my mother whose eyes were now openly flooding with tears. I walked over to her and grabbed her hand. She swatted me away.

"I'm fine. Go worry about your brother." She smiled, her blue eyes shining. Alois deffinetly took after our mother. We were by no means identical. He had my mothers' blue eyes and lovely blonde hair. I, like my father, had one blue eye, and one purple, it was a birth defect that his entire family had, managing to only be passed on to me, and his blue-black hair.

"Alois!" I called after him.

"Alois, come on. We don't think you're stupid, and you know that!" I heard my brothers whimpers coming from our bedroom. I followed them in, and found my brother in a mess on his bed. I sat beside him and rubbed his back until he stopped crying. Although we were twins, we weren't very close. I had a very hard time understanding him at times, and vice versa. When Alois was loud and boisterous, I was quite and contained. When he had tantrums, I was passive.

"Do you love me? For true?" Alois looked up at me, his eyes watering and red from crying. I sighed and ruffled his hair.

"Of course I love you, Alois. You're my brother." I said smiling at him. Alois smiled and gave me a fierce hug. I gasped with surprise as he pinned me down and attempted to kiss me.

"Ew! Alois! Stop it! What are you doing!" Alois giggled manically.

"You love me!" I rolled my eyes and pushed him away.

"That doesn't mean you have to smother me!" I said angrily.

"Why don't you go apologize to mother? She's quite upset." Alois laughed.

"What ever. Did you know what today's date is?" I sighed and rubbed my forehead in frustration.

"May 10?" Alois nodded happily, spinning around the room he claimed, "Our birthday is in just a month!" He stopped in front of me, smileing his head off.

"Aren't you excited?" I smiled lightly.

"Yeah, I suppose." Alois smiled and began to walk out the door, but a sound inturrpted us. That sound was one that would resonate in my mind as an event that changed my life forever. It echoed through my mind, and sounded through the house, making it tremble. It was the sound of gun shot parading through the streets.

Alois and I ran down the stairs, followed by our father. The three of us ran to Mother in the kitchen, who was trembling with fear. Her eyes were wide as she saw us.

"Come here, come here!" she cried urgently. Alois and I ran to our mother's arms, and our father came to the three of us, clouding us with his safe, strong arms. My mother was crying and Alois and I were trembling.

"Th-they've c-come! H-here!" my mother cried.

"Shh! Everything will be alright. I promise." My father had never spoken falser words.

We heard a harsh knock at the door, and we jumped. My father stood and straightened his shirt. With his head held high, he went to the door and opened it. Three men, all in sharp, green uniforms walked in. they pointed at my father roughly.

"You are Vincent Phantomhive?" they asked in rough Dutch. My father nodded.

"What do you want?" The first man stepped out and pointed at my father again.

"Age?"

"Forty-two." The man grunted and nodded to his comrades. They stepped forward, guns raised and pointed at my father. My heart thudded in my chest. There was no way. They…they couldn't. My mother cried out in horror, and Alois gripped my arm so tightly I could feel my heart beat.

"Walk outside. We take you away."

"No!" My mother screamed, reaching her hand out to her husband. The German soldiers shot at the floor, scaring all of us into silence.

"do not speak unless spoken to, bitch! We will do as ordered, and so will you!" The first man bellowed. My mother shriveled back into the cupboards behind her, dragging us with her. The other two men dragged my father outside, were we could see a line of men being marched down the road. Another two men came in after them, standing behind the first, who turned to us with an emotionless face.

"These your sons?" My mother nodded, her face dripping with tears.

"Age?" he asked my mother.

"Th-they're s-sixteen…twins." She replied shakily. The German raised his brow in surprise.

"Twins?" my mother nodded and held us closer to her. The man turned around and spoke quick German to the other two behind him. They nodded and advanced towards us. I shrunk back into my mother, fear lacing my heart and soul. One of the men grabbed at my arms, but I pulled away.

"NO!" I screamed, fear over taking me. I didn't want to leave, they couldn't make me! But the man kneed me in the groin, and I went limp with pain. The man carried me out, and my vision blurred with pain and tears. My mother was crying and screaming hysterically, attempting to run after Alois and I. but I watched, with horror, as the man slapped my mother across the face, pushed her to the ground, and shot her straight through the head.

"MOTHER!" I screamed, my heart breaking into a million pieces. No…no, this can't be happening. Where are they taking me? Where will I go? Where's Alois? The German soldier dumped me into the back of a truck, Alois following suit. His face was streamed with tears, and his eyes were wide with shock.

"m-mother…" he said quietly, voice shaking. I hugged him close to me and rocked back and forth as the truck began to move. We had no idea where they were taking us, and at the time we didn't really care. Because we had just witnessed our mother's death, and our father being taken away for ever.

The date was May 10, 1940. It was a day that I would remember for the rest of my life.

**I promise it will get juicer and more wonderful later on! R&R to let me know how im doing! Love you all! -Zexionienzo**


	2. Chapter 2

**HOLY MUFFINS. I can't believe that I only posted one chapter of this, and it is already almost more popular than my other, completed stories. You all have no idea how incredibly happy that makes me. As a result, I shall be updating this sooner than planned! And, for extra appreciation, a shout out goes to: Aliac, Cookie Monster, Doll of the Devil, promocat, ladyblanc, and one anonymous, reviewers. Thank you all so much! Your reviews brought me to tears. And now! Onto the story:**

I was jolted awake as the truck came to a sudden stop. We had been traveling for days, with no food, and the only water coming from the sky. I shivered and snuggled closer to Alois. Neither of us had spoken to each other in a long time; the absolute impossibility of our current situation took a toll on us that we felt simply couldn't be lifted. I was confident in the fact that we were now orphans, which furtherd my depression as we traveled on. It felt like we were stuck on that truck bed for months, but for the girl with curly brown hair next to us, who was missing her left leg, kept tallies on the days, and claimed that it had been four.

There weren't that many people in the truck, to my surprise. I had seen other trucks go by carrying so many people that everyone had to stand. But our truck was different. There was a boy who couldn't hold his head up straight, and drooled all the time. There was the girl without the leg, a boy that had needed a wheel chair (it was taken away), and another set of twins, identical girls, a few years younger than us. Why were we separated from the other people? Not that I was complaining, I enjoyed being able to lay down.

"Calder?" I looked up at my twin, startled. He hadn't spoken at all since we'd gotten on this truck. His face was pale and already gaunt with malnutrition. Alois had never been superbly healthy. He always had a slightly weak immune system.

"What's wrong?" Alois' eyes suddenly glazed over with an intense anger I had never seen before. He clucked his tongue with frustration.

"Don't ask me such a stupid question. Everything is wrong." I frowned. We had had our quarrels, but he was never so biting. I tried to conceal the hurt in my chest, and asked further; "Well, why did you say my name?" Alois sighed and wrapped his arms around me.

"I miss them, Calder. Why did this happen to us? Why did this happen to them? Where are they taking us? What the hell is going on?" my throat tightened, like I was attempting to swallow molasses.

"I only wish I knew the answers to your questions, Alois. I don't know."

"It's the jews." I turned around, the girl without a leg had said it. She was very sickly looking, and shivering dreadfully.

"What?" Her eyes went wide.

"The Jewish people from our town. That's why the Germans came. They came to take them away." I frowned. But that didn't make any sense at all.

"But we're not Jewish. So why would they take us?" the girl looked from me to Alois, and almost looked like she was going to speak. But then she turned her head away from us, resolving to say no more.

"I don't know…" she replied quietly.

After another day of travel, we arrived at our final destination. It was the place that I would grow to inhabit for the next four years. The Germans got out of the truck and hurried to the back, barking at us to get down. I helped Alois and the girl without a leg to get off the truck, but the boy who drooled wouldn't move. The Germans didn't help us. They shoved us and told us in rough Dutch to move quickly, or we would be hurt. I moved as fast as I could, but it was hard with having to help someone else along.

We walked for a half an hour into a thin forest, were we came upon a huge, menacing, disgusting grey building. It was covered with soot and grime, all around it was barbed wire, and I could see, far away, where long, grey buildings. The place looked like a prison. And that is exactly what it was.

"**SICH BEEILEN!"** They roared at us, faces twisted with anger and hate. My chest tightened with fear and I grabbed Alois' hand for comfort, only to find that he was shaking, and in desperate need of comfort as well. I couldn't understand them. They had stopped talking in Dutch, only what I recognized, but could not decipher, as German.

The soldiers led us through the barbed wire, and into the horrible building. The inside of it was no better than the outside. In fact, in many ways it was far worse.

We were pushed down an empty hallway and into a cold, dark room. The soldiers threw clothing at us and motioned for us to take off our other ones. I looked around, and seeing that everyone was doing what they told, did as well. It was all very hectic. I couldn't decipher one movement from the next, but then I was in the strange, uncomfortable blue and white striped shirt and pants, and moved off like a prisoner.

First they took the two girl away to the other side of the building. One began to cry, but the officer holding her smacked her across the face, and she shut up. The only ones remaining were now me, Alois, and the boy who couldn't walk very well. I gripped Alois' hand with an iron fist. If they wanted to separate us, it would be with great difficulty. One of the soldiers came over and spoke in irritated, choppy Dutch, "You two twins?" I nodded my head. The man looked down at our fingers laced together, and then back at me. I tried my best not to tremble under his gaze, but my hands betrayed me. The man gave a me a cruel smile, raised his gun, and dropped it heavily on my head.

I awoke in a cold, dank cell. There was no door, just a wall of bars. I sat up slowly and rubbed my head where a goose bump had begun to develop. Why did I have a goose bump? Where was I? and then, one by one the memories came flooding back to me. The last, being ripped from my brothers hands. My eyes went wide, and my heart pounded in my chest. Alois.

"ALOIS!" I screamed, running up to the bars to see if he could here me, if I could see him. My heart was racing and my head was pounding. What did they do to my brother? Where was he? What where they doing to him?

"ALOIS!" I screamed more frantically. How could they have done this? Tears started to collect in the corner of my eyes. Where was my brother?

"Alois!" I said once more, desperately trying to believe that he was by my side once again, that everything would be okay.

"Your friend wont be coming back anytime soon, I am afraid." A weak voice spoke from behind me. I wheeled around to see a skeletal figure laying in the shadows of the cell. As I looked closer, I noticed it was a boy, around my age, with jet-black hair and fierce burgundy eyes. I gulped. I felt my face begin to heat slightly.

"Hello. My name is Sebastion."

**It's shorter than I wanted it to be, but I felt like it was a good place to end. Hope you all like it!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone! I would like to first apologize for my incredible lack of spelling skills. I have no excuse, English is my native language; I'm just a horrible speller. (It is a fatal disease, which cannot be cured, my dear, dear friends. :p) So I will be trying my very best today to spell everything correctly, and to get any language translations correct! Most of them will be in French and German now. Thank you SO FREAKING much to everyone who has reviewed, they all make me very happy inside! Okay, so here's the next chapter:**

Chapter 3:

The boy spoke in fluent French. I don't know why that struck me as odd, but it did. I had grown up speaking both French and Dutch throughout my household, so I could understand, but it sounded strange coming off someone else's lips. I didn't speak a single word to him. He looked tired, but his burgundy eyes shined fiercely in the dim light of the three-walled cell.

"I would like to cordially welcome you to my native country of France, assuming that you yourself are not from around here." The boy said, slowly standing up. He was tall. Much taller than he had appeared lying on the cold hard floor, and much taller than me. When he stood, he no longer looked a skinny, unhealthy teenager. He looked a young, strong man, deprived of the feeble food source that he needed to survive. He began to walk closer to me. Why was he coming near me? I backed up with every step he took until I was pressed hard against the bars of our cell. He continued to walk until he was mere inches from me.

I could feel my face heat up again. I tried as hard as I could to make it go away, but that just made the heat rise. I gulped. Up close, his eyes were even more penetrating. I felt like an insect under a watch glass, and there was nothing I could do to stop him.

"What is your name?" He asked idly, peering at me from under his uncut, black hair. I just stared at him, eyes wide, unable to say a single word. The boy frowned, almost disappointed.

"Hm. Maybe you don't speak French, then. But I know Italiana….and Deutsch." Seeing that I had no reaction to any of these words, the boy sighed and back off slightly.

"Well then maybe you speak some other language I don't know. Or you just don't want to speak with me, which is perfectly understandable." The boy backed off back into his corner.

"Well, as far as the welcome goes, Hello. My name is Sebastian. You are currently residing in a concentration camp in Strasbourg, France. It is an experimental facility…" Sebastian's face darkened with every word, his red eyes growing fiercer as an insurmountable bout of anger seemed to take hold on him.

"I am here because the Germans believe it is not acceptable for me to kiss a boy, to love a boy." Sebastian's face softened with sadness.

"I am sorry I could not save you." He whispered almost inaudibly. I froze. Was he speaking to me? It hadn't seemed like he had. And…he liked boys. Like Alois. Why would they take him here for that? And what was a concentration camp? Or an "experimental facility"? What did that mean? I walked along the wall to sit on the opposite side of the cell Sebastian was on. I sat down on the uncomfortable cold floor. Sebastian looked up at me, smiling through his sadness.

"I think I will call you Ciel. It means, "From Heaven" in French." I cast a sideways glance at him, and indiscriminately nodded my head, showing him that I understood his words. If he saw my nod, he didn't show it; instead he carefully continued to talk. The sound of his voice was soothing. It calmed my thoughts about Alois, and reminded me of how tired I was. I felt my eyes drooping, and slowly, finally, a deep, dreamless darkness washed over me, and I fell asleep.

"Steh auf, du dreckiges Schwein!" I was kicked awake by a steel-toed boot. I coughed and rolled over, clutching my injured side.

"Auf, Auf!" I stood as quickly as I could and looked around. Sebastian was nowhere to be seen, and a shrewd German soldier was standing in front of me, whip at his hand, aimed at me. He thwacked it across my cheek. I gasped, clutching my throbbing face.

"Beeilt euch!" the man shoved me out of the cell and pushed me down the hall, past two other seemingly empty cells, and through a set of doors. My face and my side were throbbing, and my heart was racing. Where was he taking me? What had happened to Sebastian? Where was my brother? The hallway we were in was similar to the one with the barred cells, except that the rooms in this hall had doors, with no windows. It seemed very ominous as he shoved me past all the doors. As we passed one, I heard an intense scream of pain like nothing I had ever heard in my life. I turned sharply to the door, my heart stopping in my chest. What were they doing to that poor person? What had he ever done wrong? The German soldier scowled at me and hit me with the butt of his shot gun, urging me to continue moving.

I turned slowly, starting to tremble. What were they planning on doing to me? Where was I going? Questions were flying through my mind at a million miles a minute. I started getting heat flashes as I was pushed down the hall, until finally the last room was in front of me. I heard voices coming from it and the soldier quickly opened the door and shoved me inside, staying outside. I had to blink a few times to become accustomed to the brightness inside the room. When I could finally see again, I saw an intensely clean, white room. In the middle of it was what looked like a surgical table, and to the right was a mahogany desk, and a chair that had someone with chin-length blonde hair. He was small, and his entire body was shaking. The boy turned his head to reveal pleading, scared blue eyes.

"Alois!" I ran to my brother, but his eyes suddenly filled with hatred, hurt and anger. I stopped, half way there.

"Alois?" his breath was coming hard, and his face twisted with anger.

"How could you, Calder? HOW COULD YOU! I trusted you, you were my brother! How could you! Look what you've done! I hate you! I HATE YOU!" I took a step away from my twin, taken aback. What was wrong with him? I hadn't done anything! His words cut through me like a knife and left a wound that threatened to never heal.

"Alois…what are you talking about? What have I done?" Alois' face convoluted in anger.

"You sent me to this evil place, YOU brought me here! It was YOU who got our parents killed, Calder, YOU!" I gaped at him, tears starting to collect in the corners of my eyes. How could he have accused me of something like that?

"Alois…" I whispered, my heart threatening to pop out of my chest it ached so bad.

A man came over to us. He was dressed in black aside from his pearly-white lab coat. He has a small mustache and thick, black-rimmed glasses. When he spoke, his voice was rough and sharp, like nails on a chalk board. His Dutch was very difficult to understand.

"You speak no German?" I shook my head, but Alois did nothing. The man nodded and checked something off in his notebook. He then looked at me.

"You, stand, front." He said, motioning for me to stand in front of him. I did as I was told, and he looked me up and down. He kept writing down some notes every once in a while. He took particular interest in my eyes. He pointed at my purple eyes questioningly.

"You, eye, color?" I nodded.

"It's a disorder, passed on from my father's side of the family." The German man looked at me, confused. I tried again in French, and the German man nodded his head understandingly. And scribbled something down in his notebook again. When he had finished, he told me, in French this time, to lie down on the table. I complied, my heart racing. What was he going to do to me? What had they done to my brother?

Another man, this one a soldier came into the room. His hands were held behind his back, and his face bore no emotion in it what so ever. He walked over to my and pulled out lengths of leather. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my head was swimming with over whelming thoughts. What the hell was going on? The soldier held me down, and I found myself unable to move. I started breathing heavier. I was getting more terrified than I was when I entered this horrid room. The man in the lab coat quickly tied my legs, my torso, and my shoulders with the leather straps to the table. After the soldier let go of me, I tried desperately to move, but I found myself bolted tight.

"A-Alois!" I cried, my voice desperate and terrified. Alois didn't say anything for a while.

"You deserve whatever they're going to do to you." At those words, my heart collapsed into my chest. How had this happened? Why had Alois' mood changed so suddenly?

But I didn't have time to dwell on these thoughts. The lab coated man came towards me, a clean, sharp knife in his hands. I stared at the knife with horror. I didn't want to die!

"NO. Please, No, don't-don't do it! PLEASE!" I cried frantically as the man came closer, taking one of my shaking hands in his. I tried to pull it away but his hands were strong, and he held fast to my own. I watched, with terror and confusion flooding my body, as the knife cut into the skin of my palm, made into a round, circular motion.

"AH!" I screamed in pain. The pain hissed through my fingers and wrist. It wasn't like anything I had ever felt in my life. After the man made the first incision, he continued along the same circle, just cutting deeper and deeper. I screamed as the blade went over my all-ready injured hand. It was an insurmountable pain that radiated through my body. Tears were flooding down my face as I cried out in pain and terror. The whole time the man was looking at Alois, frowning, like he was waiting for him to do something. But Alois made no motion that he cared for me at all. I cried out as the man made one final stab at my hand, and slowly took the knife away, leaving my hand marred and throbbing. I gasped in pain and shuddered as a wave of nausea passed through me at the sight of my own flesh and blood.

The man stared at me with little emotion on his cruel face as he took out pale gauze and wrapped it tightly around my hand. I shivered, suddenly the world was spinning and I was very cold. The bonds holding me down were loosened and taken off, and I was told to stand up. I did as I was told, and took one last fleeting glance at Alois, but he wouldn't look at me. He pretended that I wasn't even there. My heart ached in my chest. All I had left in this world was ripped right from under me in the form of my brother's hatred.

Everything was a blur. It might have been the tears collecting in my eyes, or my slight loss in blood. But as the soldier lead me back to my cell, the pale, ugly walls swirled and waved around me. The floor rippled with every step I took, causing me to trip every once in a while. Finally, I was back at the barred wall of my cell. The soldier shoved me in and I lost my balance. I tripped and flew hands forward to catch my fall, but as soon as my injured palm hit the cold floor, I hissed in pain and rolled so that my weight wasn't on it anymore. I shuffled to the back of the cell, as far away from the bars as possible and cradled my injured arm, shivering. A movement to my left surprised me, and I jerked as a gentle hand was placed on my shoulder.

I looked up to find concerned red eyes staring down at my palm. Sebastian's face looked dirty and sickly up close, but behind the grime I could see pale, almost flawless skin. He had a long, straight nose and shell-colored lips. His neck was hovering just near my face. I gulped and pulled my eyes away from the exposed pale flesh. Sebastian "tsked" at my hand and gently held it in his own.

"My, Ciel. What have they done this to you for?" He stared at me, expecting an answer. My eyes started to fill with tears again. Why was he so sincere? I had no idea who he was, yet he was showing more kindness to me than my own brother. At the thought of Alois, my heart plummeted once again, rocking me with a wave of agony.

I gulped in a deep breath of air, for I felt suddenly as if I were being suffocated. My shoulders began to shake, and I felt wetness on my cheeks. I reached my uninjured hand up to feel my face and discovered I was crying. This sudden realization only brought me greater grief, and I curled into myself, trying to hold in my tears but failing.

I felt, with a great surprise, sudden warmth all around me. I felt safe, there was something over me. It felt like...arms. It felt like someone was hugging me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sebastian's black hair gently grazing my cheek. His arms felt strong and safe, something that I felt I had lost in a very short amount of time.

"Tell me what is wrong, Ciel." Sebastian said his own eyes on the brink of tears. Seeing Sebastian so close to me, his nose just mere inches from my own, his heated breath hitting my face gently, was like a soft and great pressure in my chest. I felt something move, and I felt a bit stronger. I could feel my hand throbbing, and my heart pounding, and I wanted to tell Sebastian everything.

"It-it's my brother…" I whispered in staggered French. Sebastian's eyes widened at the sound of my voice. My heart clenched in my chest as I spoke to him. It felt like I was betraying Alois, yet at the same time like I was being relieved of some great burden.

"He…_hates_ _me_." I whispered in horror and disbelief. Sebastian didn't say a word. He just wrapped his arms around me, holding me still until I felt my lids drooping, and I fell fast asleep.

**Sooo. I apologize because this took a bit longer than I thought it would. And, yea. So let me know what you think. Good? Bad? Is all my spelling correct? My language isn't messed up? Please R&R to let me knoooow! **

**-Zexionienzo**


	4. Chapter 4

**Just taking this time to say: DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN KUROSHITSUJI. There. Done. Also: from now on if there are any words or phrases in a language other than English, the translation will be posted on the bottom. And I am so super sorry for my lack in updationness. I will try to make them more regular, I promise! Hope you enjoy! **

Chapter 4:

Days passed with no incident. A German soldier would come by twice a day to bring us "food", A.K.A. poorly flavored dirt. Sebastian scarf fed his food down, claiming he would take whatever strength he could get. I didn't talk much; in fact, I hadn't said more than a few words to Sebastian after I had fallen asleep in his arms. But my, he was a chatter box. He hardly ever stopped talking. It was a nice distraction from everything that was swirling like a foreboding doom around us. The dark, dampness of our cell, the silence of our hall, and the click of the steely German boots that always brought displeasure.

The wound on my hand slowly healed until all that was left was a nasty pink scar encircling my palm. Sebastian told me about his life in Paris, his home town. He said that his family owned a chain of popular restaurants, and that he had been expected to be the heir to his families' generous fortune. That had all changed, though, in a matter of weeks.

"It was a Saturday. I remember it so clearly…" he said softly. It was the only time I had ever heard his voice grow careful, like he was afraid of someone overhearing him.

"I had a lover. He had long, beautiful red hair. He was always laughing…he had a beautiful smile." Sebastian thought, his expression carrying on one of sadness. I listened intently to his tale of romance and ever-lasting grief.

"I don't know exactly how it happened. I just realized one day that the way I looked at men wasn't the same as how other men looked at each other. His name…it was…it was…" Sebastian's face turned to one of horror. He stared at me mouth agape. I watched, with curiosity as his face fell, and suddenly he looked like a lost puppy that'd been kicked out into the cold. He wrapped his arms around himself, shivering. For once, he was completely silent. The silence between us was unnerving. It bounced off the walls and ricocheted off the bars of our cell. I couldn't stand it; the loudness of it drove me over the age and filled my body with strange and terrifying electricity. I moved closer to Sebastian, whose face was shielded in his knees, his shoulders shaking as though he was crying. I placed an arm around him, and squeezed my hand on his shoulder. He didn't look up, which was fine by me. I thought about Alois, and my heart ached in my chest. I couldn't very well handle not being able to see him or speak with him about his outburst in the white room, which gave me terrifying nightmares night after night. I felt something pang in my chest as a soft, pathetic whimper emanated form Sebastian's muffled lips. I felt my chest rise and fall, and my mind opened to something that I couldn't quite grasp.

"I was born in France, but my parents moved to Amsterdam when I was five. At home we spoke French and Dutch, and we were all one big happy family. My…my father was a book keeper. He copied various texts and letters for anyone that asked. I loved the way his study smelled, of ink and fresh paper. It was wonderful. My mother used to bake the most magnificent cakes and breads, just thinking about them makes my mouth water. And my brother…" my throat tightened, but I knew I had to continue.

"My brother was my twin, and my best friend. When the Germans came….they took my father away first, and then upon hearing that my brother and I were twins, took us too. My mother couldn't handle losing everyone she loved. A-and…th-th-they-" I took a shaky breath, forcing my tears back and refusing to let them fall.

"We were walking away and we-we saw them… we saw them sh-shoot her!" I cried out in disbelief.

"A-all b-because sh-she w-was trying t-to get us b-back." I took another deep breath and started again.

"They put us on a truck and brought us here. Among us were all people who were mentally or physically disabled, except for my brother and I." I looked at the ground, studying its grey and decrepit make-up. My heart tightened in my chest and I clenched my fists.

"They brought us here. And they separated my brother and I. And put me in here with you." I said, looking into Sebastian's eyes with an intensity I had never shown anyone before. I had always been a passive person, but that changed when all I had to care about was my brother and my life.

"That first day, I woke up being kicked. You weren't there, and I wondered if they had done anything to my brother, but I didn't have any time to think about that. The German soldiers didn't speak in Dutch to me anymore. I was shoved into a room draped completely in white, and my brother was there." I paused here. Remembering Alois' reaction was still a mystery to me. It hurt that he would ever accuse me of doing something like this, and that he would believe whatever they told him over his own brother.

"When I saw him, I was so happy! I reached out to him, but he rejected me. He claimed that I was the reason we came here, that everything that had happened to us was my fault. He told me that he…that he h-hated me. I tried to reason with him, but he just ignored me. After that a man whom I assumed was a doctor started asking me questions. He asked about my eye, and all this other crap.

"And then he strapped me down to a surgical table." My heart was speeding up just thinking about it. The intense fear I had felt in that moment sent pure and unadulterated adrenaline through my veins.

"The man took a knife and made this cut in my palm, over and over again. He didn't look at me once while he did it; he just stared at my brother with a confused look on his face. It was like…" I struggled to find the correct French words so that Sebastian could understand. He was staring at me intently, hanging on my every word. His attention thrilled me and made me want to talk more and more.

"It was like he was trying to get a reaction out of my brother, but all Alois did was stare at the wall. He didn't even flinch at my screams." I ended there, on a bitter note. I felt as though I was forgetting apart of my story, but I couldn't quite place what I might've not remembered.

Sebastian waited a few moments to see if I would say anything else. Seeing that I wouldn't, he sat up a little straighter and wrung out his wrists as if they hurt.

"You have a beautiful and horrid story, Ceil. But… might I ask you one thing?" I nodded my head, suddenly exhausted and found myself having very little desire to speak.

"What is your true name? I feel bad calling you someone you may not be." I stared at Sebastian for a moment. My name? What was my name? I hadn't heard it in so long; it seemed like a foreign language in my mind. Calder. It sounded bulky, heavy, like it carried a load. I didn't want a load; I didn't want to be trapped. I wanted to be free. Calder…Ciel. No. I wouldn't…no, I couldn't be Calder anymore. Calder was a completely different person. Ciel…Ciel was me, the person I was in that cell; speaking with a man I had only known for a few weeks.

"My name doesn't matter anymore. Just call me Ciel. I like it." I said tiredly and smiled. Sebastian looked at me curiously, but responded like wise and lay down with his hand folded under his head.

"You truly are an amazing creature, Ciel. I find it hard to believe that anyone could hate you. I do not see how anyone could feel such a harsh feeling for someone with such a beautiful face." I looked at Sebastian suddenly, his comment startled me. Me? He thought I was beautiful? _Me_? The one covered in grime and soot, with an ugly bandaged hand and two completely different colored eyes? I had never heard such a lie. But I noticed the sincerity in Sebastian's livid facial expression as he laid on the cold ground, his eyes closed and his chest rising and dipping softly in breath.

I suddenly noticed the perfectness of Sebastian's hands. Although they were dirty, and his fingernails were filled with dirt, his fingers were long and thin. Folded under his head, they look very graceful, like they could never break anything, that their touch would be as gentle and soft as the winds' caress. I noticed for the first time Sebastian's long, thin body. He was malnourished, and at some points the bones under his skin were protruding in a slightly abnormal way. Lying down, his shirt had lifted up a bit to reveal his midriff. The skin was pulled taut over his naval, making his hip bones more pronounced, and the lines that disappeared under his pants more visible.

I felt the skin in my cheeks begin to heat up. Me? Beautiful? It was preposterous. Sebastian on the other hand, he was a man to make anyone reconcile their most deeply opinions on the very word. I tried to look away from him, but found it extraordinarily difficult.

"Wat is er mis met mij?" I muttered quietly. I shook my head, trying to clear it without success. Sebastian lazily opened one of his eyes and peered at me thoughtfully.

"What did you say?" I turned, heat slowly collecting in my face about being caught in my ramblings.

"N-nothing… nothing at all." Sebastian looked at me thoughtfully, a smirk playing on his gentle, pink lips.

"If you are so worried about the Germans, I could teach you the language you know." I tried to grasp in my mind his words. He was at least pretending to not notice my embarrassment, for which I was eternally great full. I smiled at him, letting it reach the corners of my eyes.

"I would greatly appreciate that." I mumbled. Sebastian's eyes crinkled and his lips turned up into what I recognized as a smile. A smile was something I would grow to rarely see in the presence of anywhere else besides Sebastian, in our cell.

But that part of the story will come later.

It was then that my German lessons started with Sebastian. They went well, and while he taught me German, I taught him Dutch. We practiced on each other, speaking sentences in multiple languages to pass the time, something that seemed to be endless in this hell whole.

I was once again awoken to a sharp pain in my side. I quickly sat up and looked around, looking for the source in the pain. I felt something heavy hit the side of my face, and for a moment my vision blurred. I got up dizzily and found a German soldier starting at me with an intense hatred I could not place. His cold blue eyes bore down into me, like he could see straight into my soul.

"Aufstehen, Dreck!" I slowly processed the words. I followed the German out of the cell and down a very familiar hall. I only understood the first word, _get up_. But I wasn't really thinking about it. I was thinking about the familiar route the German was taking me down, and my heart started beating faster in my chest. My palms began to sweat, and adrenaline pumped through my veins, making me jittery and nauseous with anxiety.

Again, I was in a pristine, too-white room that nearly blinded me as I entered. There was the surgical table, and the chairs, and the "doctor" and there was Alois. I turned to him, he being the only thing in the room that gave me any kind of comfort, but Alois was far from any condition where he could comfort someone.

Alois skin was taught on his cheek bones, his frame was filthy and skeletal, like he hadn't eaten anything. His eyes were clouded over and he seemed like he was in a trance. He was very sickly; coughing and sniffling the entire time. I walked over to my brother, waiting for the glare of hatred streaming from his icy eyes, but there was none. In fact, he had close to no reaction at all.

"Alois? Are you all right?" I took my brothers hand in my own, and took a sharp intake of breath as I felt the coolness, the shakiness, of his palms. Alois stared at me for a moment, with no emotion on his face. Suddenly, his eyes went wide in their sockets and glazed over in un-shed tears.

"Calder? Calder…I-I am not all right…" He said softly, shakily, as he squeezed my palm weakly with his fingers. I squeezed back, and took both if his hand sin mine to try and heat them up. He was freezing. My chest tightened as my heart bled for my brother's lack in well-being. I smiled sadly and rubbed his fingers in a futile attempt to bring some life back into them. He shuddered when his fingers brushed over the scar on my palm.

"I am sorry, Calder." He whispered, fear hinting in his voice. I shook my head and patted his head.

"Don't be sorry, Alois. It won't get you anywhere." My pale brother nodded and rested his head against my shoulder, and it almost felt like we were back in Amsterdam, sitting by the fire.

A man walked into our room then, he was tall and burlesque with a clean face and a finely waxed beard. He wore a lab coat; just the sight of it sending shivers of fear down my spine.

"Come up and lay on the table, boy." He motioned to me again, but I refused to move. I took a sharp intake of breath as the memories flooded through my brain. My hand burned at the memory. No. I would not move.

After a while the man seemed to grow impatient. He went back out into the hallway and a second man followed him back in, this one a soldier. I frowned deeper and started trembling with fear. There was no way I could succeed in dispatching two men, both quite a bit larger than I. I gripped Alois' hand, but I found that it was limp; he'd fallen asleep on my shoulder, and now there was no one I could turn to for help.

"No, please...please don't do this again…NO! I beg of you!" I screamed as the men forcibly pulled me up from my seat and strapped me down to the table again.

"I'll do it quick, so that we can get this done with." I heard the man in the lab coat say. My vision blurred as the fear and terror in my veins kicked up my adrenaline, shooting it through my body at a rapid speed. I screamed for my life as the man pulled out a rather large knife, the size of a meat-carver.

I screamed again as the knife made contact with my skin, tearing and sawing it off from my left ankle to my left knee. I gasped and screamed in pain, wriggling under the leather bonds in a futile attempt to escape. Just like the first time the men didn't bother to look at me, just Alois, who was still soundly asleep on his chair.

"ALOIS! GOD SAVE ME!" I screamed as a sharp, hissing pain shot up my leg and straight through the rest of my body. It was a tight, searing pain that ruptured the façade of calm in my skull, like a parade of stampeding bulls it washed through my body and infected my every waking thoughts, making pain the only thing I could think about.

After the man had effectively cut up my left shin to his satisfaction, he stopped, bandaged me up and undid my bounds. But at that point in time, I was too exhausted from screaming and trying to escape that I could hardly move. My leg seared and throbbed with pain, and any movement only increased this. I turned to Alois. He was awake now, but he was staring off into space, not seeing a thing.

"Get up, filth. To you cell." The German soldier spat at me. His gaze terrified me and ripped through my soul. I quickly sat up, but almost feinted from the amount of blood loss. I gulped in as much air as I could and dizzily got off the bench. I cried out in pain as my left foot hit the floor, sending shock waves through my body.

I don't remember the walk back to my cell. I think I must've blacked out on the way there. What I do remember is a blurry face with pale skin, shaggy black hair, and worried, burgundy eyes looming over me, calling me back to consciousness just long enough to be pulled into the warmth and safety of the stranger's arms; and then fall, again, into a black pool of dreamless sleep.

**I am again super sorry for the really long period of no-update. :'( This is one of my longer chapters. I'll try to make them all long like this, but I can't promise anything. So...yeah. Let me know how I'm doing! Please R&R! (I apologize for any foreign-language grammatical mistakes, please correct me and I will go back and fix them. )**

**Translations:**

"**Wat is er mis met mij"- "What's wrong with me?"**

"**Aufstehen, Dreck"- "Get up, filth!"**

**I apologize if there is anything I missed…but I think I got it all. **


	5. Chapter 5

**HOLY CRAP. Thank you billions for everyone who reviewed! They made me eternally happy! ;) Yea. Here's the next chapter:**

Chapter 5:

The pain in my leg was more intense than anything I'd ever felt before. The Germans didn't give me any anesthetic or any kind of pain killers, and God it fucking hurt like hell. I stayed in the cell with Sebastian for a long time after that. The entire time, I mostly just slept in Sebastian's arms. Every time I moved, searing pain shot up my leg and engulfed my whole body. It was so intense I could hardly breathe. It also bled a lot. A doctor came every few days to change my bandages and check for infection, but his white lab coat scared the living shit out of me. Every time he came anywhere near our cell I moved to the back of the cell amongst its darkest depths and shadows. My fear cascaded through my body, but the man would tell something to Sebastian. It was a language that I didn't understand. And then Sebastian would hold me as the doctor sedated me with a needle.

That was the most terrifying part of all. The look on Sebastian's face as this horrible, horrible man dressed in white dressed my wounds. Sebastian's intense burgundy eyes would glaze over with tears, but they would never fall. It was like he was a wall made of cement and iron; no one could ever tear him down.

"Ciel." I squeezed my eyes shut, refusing to open them. I knew what was coming. No matter how many times it happened, though, it was no more terrifying than the first time.

"Ciel, you've got to wake up." He said, gently shaking my shoulder. I pushed his hand away and sat up irritably. I looked around, wearily rubbing my eyes from sleep. Sebastian settled one of his nimble hands on the small of my back just as the doctor waltzed into our cell like he owned the place. I immediately stiffened and clenched my fists. Sebastian's hand tightened on my back, giving me some comfort as the doctor apprehensively approached me. Sebastian leaned closer to me, his breath gently breezed across my skin, and I felt his lips just barely grazing my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"Be brave, Ciel. Everything will be fine." He whispered to me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. _"Be Brave."_ Echoed through my brain like an endless chant. It didn't help anything, though, as the Doctor's hands approached me with apprehension. I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut.

But as soon as I felt something cold and steely touch my skin, I screamed and my eyes flew open. The man was holding a scalpel. I screamed again and fled to the back of the cell. The man scowled at me and advanced this time needle in hand. My eyes went wide.

"No…no!" he came closer and closer, and my hands gripped the cement walls like my life depended on it. Fear and adrenaline pumped through my veins at a million miles a minute, make me jittery and terrified.

"Sebastian!" I screamed as the man grabbed my arm and injected me with the contents of the needle. I immediately began to feel the effects, feeling drowsy.

"Sebastian…" I said wearily, reaching my hand out in a desperate and pathetic attempt to reach him. He had his face buried in his hands and his shoulders were shaking. Why was he crying? What did they do to him?

"Sebassssshon…" I slurred in an incoherent whisper.

_I'm sorry I couldn't be brave enough… _I thought as the final darkness enveloped me, and I was unconscious yet again in a dreamless sleep.

Sebastian's POV: **(A/N: I AM SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS!)**

The boy before me was trembling in fear. The terror in his silent, beautiful, innocent eyes terrified me. Why couldn't I save him in any way? The guilt and fear clenched at my heart. How long had I known this…this human being? This poor, innocent soul that I'd grown so stupidly to care for. I'd learned that love was impossible before….with _Him_. Love didn't last in a place like this. There was no way it ever could.

"You. Help me hold him up." I took my face out of my hands and slowly crawled over to Ciel's limp, unconscious body. The sadness on his sleeping face broke my heart into a million pieces. How could this happen? Wake up Ciel! I want to see your strange and beautiful eyes! I want to see what your face looks like with a smile…

"Hold him up, fool." The doctor shoved me, and I gingerly, as if Ciel were a gentle and breakable thing, held him up. I enclosed my long arms around his frame and cradled him to my chest.

_Please forgive me, Ciel…_ The man took Ciel injured leg and slowly began to unwrap it. My stomach coiled in my chest. These men…they were fucking sick. They ripped off all of his beautiful, pale skin on the bottom half of his leg. I don't know why they did it. I don't know if they're going to do it again, but I will always be there for him.

Ciel's leg looked horrible. It was raw and bloody. It didn't look like it was healing at all. The doctor put some white ointment on the wound and wrapped it in a clean bandage. While he worked, I thought about how I had managed to end up in this horrific place. I thought about what they did to me when they took Ciel away, and I shuddered. Fuck. These men were creative, weren't they?

~ (a few months before)

I walked out into the beautiful sunny day that was before me, and happily walked to the bakery down the street from me. The closer I got, the harder my heart beat. I clenched my fist that held the flowers in my hand. I was happy because I knew that _He_ would be there, waiting for me. I walked into the delicious bakery and closed my eyes, breathing deeply. The smell of bread and cakes sent shivers down my spine. I loved that smell with all my heart.

"Good morning Sebastian." I turned my head and my face turned red, the same color as his long, sleek hair. I gulped and smiled at him.

"Good morning, Grell." I handed him the flowers, and he took them. He smiled back at me before putting them in a vase. I was sixteen. My birthday was the next day, and all I wanted to do was spend the entire day with Grell. He was younger than me, by a few months. I reached for Grell's hand, and he took it, embracing me in his strong arms. My heart fluttered in my chest and I lifted my head up, so I was looking at his face. I could feel his breath on my cheeks, and the feeling sent shivers down my spine. I pulled his face towards mine, until our lips were just barely touching.

"I love you Sebby." At that moment, I couldn't have loved him more. I pressed my lips against his. Shivers of pleasure ran through my body as we kissed, our lips moving together like they had been for years, although this was our first time. When we pulled away, I looked into his bright green eyes and decided that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. That's when we heard gunshots. I looked outside and saw soldiers and guns and smoke prowling through the city. I grabbed Grell and held him close to me. We had no idea what was going on.

A soldier came into the bakery and stared at us coldly. I felt like his eyes, the color of ice, bored into my very soul. The strange feeling sent shivers down my spine. The man called something out of the bakery in German,

"_Hey you, get over here. We have a situation."_ A second soldier, this one much taller and brawnier, entered the bakery after the first. Both held guns, and both wore scowls plastered to their face. I gripped Grell's hand tightly and moved closer to him, ensnaring him in my arms. The German soldiers' scowl deepened, and he advanced on us.

The next thing I knew we were being pulled apart. I reached out for Grell's hands in a desperate attempt to touch him one last time, but it was no use. The soldiers pulled us apart, and led us out of the bakery, kicking and screaming.

It took us a couple hours to reach the concentration camp outside of Strasbourg. The scenery was ironically beautiful. The trees lining the outer edges of the camp were full and beautiful, in bloom. We were sent inside and our clothes were taken. Among Grell and I there were three other people taken from our home city.

After we were dressed in the horrid prison garb, that was required of us to wear, we were separated. They brought Grell and I down a long hallway and into a dank, horrid cell with cement floors and a single mattress. Once we were inside, I pulled Grell close to me and whispered soothing words in his ear. I had no idea why we were brought here, only that we were and that this place was like a living hell.

I laid down with Grell on the single mattress, and held him close to me as he slept. I felt like something really bad was going to happen very soon. There was a feeling of foreboding in the air, and I just couldn't put my finger on it. That night, I silently cried myself to sleep.

In the morning, we were woken abruptly by a boot in our sides. I quickly sat up, startled, only to have the butt of a gun shoved in my face.

"_Get up, swine."_ Grell and I stood. The soldier led us out of our cell and down the hall. This hall led to another hall, which was painted a pristine white. It was too white, almost blindingly so. The soldier led us into a room, that looked similar to our cell with the cement walls and floor; but this room had a door, and it was completely white, like the hall. The man pulled out his gun, and pointed it at the two of us.

"_Over there."_ He said, motioning for us to move to the other side of the room. My palms were sweaty, and my heart was racing. I had no idea what they were going to do to us, but that man terrified me. The man held up his gun, aimed at me. My eyes went wide as I realized what he was going to do. My heart beat faster and faster, the fear and terror running through was exhilarating and terrifying all at once. The soldier aimed. I heard the shot sound through the room, echoing and deafening in the small room, but all I saw was a flash of red hair, and then it was done. I looked down, expecting that red to be blood on my chest, although I'd felt nothing.

But the pain I felt when I saw what the bullet had hit was more horrid than anything I have ever felt since. For there, lying on the ground with his long red hair splayed about him like a bloody mane was Grell, a large pool of blood beginning to surround him. The horror struck me, and then my chest was splitting in pain. I cried out as I fell to the ground, the pain making me unable to stand. I closed my eyes as tears began to fall down my cheeks ruthlessly. I wrapped my arms around the still-warm body of the boy I had loved so, so much. His eyes fluttered open for a moment. Those beautiful green eyes bore into mine with an intensity I didn't think I would be able to withstand. Grell smiled slightly, his face drained completely of color.

"Sebastian, promise me something." I nodded my head, unable to speak any coherent words.

"Live." And with that, Grell's eyes closed, and his heart stopped. The love of my life went limp in my arms. He was dead. And there was absolutely nothing I could do to save him. I let out a shrill and painful sob and buried my face in Grell. But the soldier walked over and pulled me up by my hair.

"_We leave now."_ He said, with no emotion on his face. The man walked away, pulling me behind him, back to that horrible, dank, miserable, heart-breaking cell. I sat in there for a long time, doing nothing but crying.

…

It was my seventeenth birthday.

**Ummmm. Yea. I know that it is depressing. Please don't kill me! I actually don't like sebbyXgrell at all, so that was weird to write, but I hope it turned out okay. Let me knooooooooow! Also, Merry Christmas! And Hanukah, and Kwanza, or any other holiday you celebrate. (Or don't celebrate, if you are Jehovah's Witness, to which case, just have a wonderful day!)**


	6. Chapter 6 FINALLY!

**Hi Everyone! So I am going to apologize right now for my lack in updating, I am super, super sorry. But to make up for it, I made this chapter super long and packed with goodies. ( I also apologize in advance If you don't like this chapter…it gets pretty depressing…) this chapter also gets a tad bit unhistorical, considering it uses a song that is from present time, not the past (sorry if that bugs anybody) the song is called, "The Cave," by Mumford & Sons. Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 6:

Ciel's POV:

I woke up to the sound of Sebastian's sobs and an intense throbbing pain in my leg. I rolled over lazily. Whatever drugs the "doctor" had given me still had some kind of a drowsy effect. As I turned over the room spun around and made me sick. I held my breath and waited for my vision to clear up before I began to search for Sebastian. His sobs echoed through the room like a cacophony of heart break. Finally I found him, huddled in the corner, his face buried in his hands, his knees pulled up to chest and his shoulders shaking. My heart squeezed in my chest. He looked miserable and lonely sitting there, crying. It was a strange sight to see, and it broke my heart in so many ways.

"Se-Sebastian." I whispered weakly. I closed my eyes again as nausea over came me. I heard Sebastian's sobs die down to sniffling, and then his body shuffling across the cold, stone floor.

"Hey. Are you okay?" I nodded my head, immediately regretting it.

"Just…nauseous." I managed. Sebastian sniffled again and rubbed his fingers soothingly across my back. I welcomed the touch and leaned into him. I didn't know why, but I felt incredibly comfortable with Sebastian. I didn't know much about him, and I'd only known him for a few months, but there was some strange feeling deep in my chest that ricocheted through my entire being, sending shivers down my spine every time we made contact.

"What's wrong?" I asked, feeling a bit better. Sebastian stopped momentarily and took a deep breath before he continued his motions.

"Nothing. I'm fine." At this I rolled over and looked him square in the eye. Or tried to. Instead I came face-to face with Sebastian's spread legs. I blushed deeply and looked up. His eyes were blood-shot and puffy from crying. I took a chance and slowly sat up. When I didn't feel like I was going to puke my brains out, I sat up all the way and gently looked into Sebastian's face. He wouldn't look at me, like he was afraid to. I moved closer to him and placed a hand on his hollow, cold cheek. Sebastian gasped at the unfamiliar touch and turned to me. His eyes were filled with an insurmountable sadness. It was unlike anything I had ever seen before in my life. It wasn't something to be messed with. Sebastian looked like he was going to break at any moment. His shoulders started shaking again, like he was holding in the body-wracking sobs that were trying to escape him. I frowned and leaned into him, wrapping my arms tightly about Sebastian's shoulders.

At that moment, Sebastian let out a heart-breaking whimper. It was the smallest of noises, but it sent waves of pain and sorrow washing over me. It reminded me of all the pain and horror I had witnessed in this hell whole. How much longer had Sebastian been there than I? It couldn't have been that much longer, could it? But as Sebastian cried into my chest so hard that he could hardly breathe, I thought twice on it. What on Earth could have caused his sadness to be so severe?

Sebastian finally stopped crying, and fell asleep on my lap. The tears had left streaks down his dirty cheeks and while he slept I gently rubbed them away. Sebastian's face was serene and peaceful as he slept. How long had we both been here? I knew that I must be seventeen by now. At that thought I began to wonder about Alois. Why had the German's separated us? Why was he so much gaunter than I had been last time we'd met? But then I stopped thinking about it, because it reminded me of what had gone on in that horrible, white, clean room.

Sebastian stirred in his sleep and I stared down at him again. I tugged a lock of his hair and twisted it between my fingers. And what of Sebastian? Why did I feel so strangely towards him? It was like suddenly I felt like I had to make sure he would be okay forever, that he would never feel sad again. As I stared down at his pale, sleeping frame, he stirred again, this time shivering in cold. I rubbed his back for a moment before looking around our cell, my eyes finally resting upon the thin, dirty mattress. As gently as I could manage, I dragged Sebastian over to the mattress and laid him down so that he was resting on his side. He was so tired that he didn't even open his eyes as I moved him. In sleep, he looked peaceful and oh, so very vulnerable. It was a beautiful and terrifying thing. To let one's guard down in here…it could only cause pain.

I suddenly felt like I had pulled a train through the station; my body ached and I was utterly exhausted. Without thinking much about it, I laid down next to Sebastian on the thin mattress so that I was facing him. I snuggled into his chest and was enveloped in the calming sensation of Sebastian, his warmth, his exotic scent (which may have just been a lack of bathing) and his hot breath on my face. It made my inside uncurl, it made my breathing slow down, and made me, for the first time since I had been brought here, fall fast asleep all on my own accord into a sleep filled with wonderful, wonderful dreams.

As I slowly drifted off, I caught the sight of Sebastian's burgundy eyes opening just slightly. The sight of those eyes, so confused and peaceful, just waking up from sleep made something deep in my chest twang. As a result, unthinkingly as I sleep finally captured me; I whispered, almost inaudibly, "_Ik hou van je_." **1.**

I knew he would never understand the words I spoke, but there was no way I could express how I felt to him in French. The words in that romantic language were lost to me, maybe forever, but I was determined to show Sebastian the meaning of my Dutch words.

Sebastian's POV:

"_Ik hou van je."_ I watched in awe as Ciel fell asleep in my arms. It was like a scene from my imagination, only it was genuinely happening. What did his words mean? I thought hard, but I couldn't recognize them as any language I had ever learned. It must have been his native tongue, Dutch.

I shook my head of my thoughts and cautiously looked around our cell. No sign of any soldiers. Ciel's back was turned away from the cell door, he was facing me. His hot breath was hitting my neck, and made my skin tingle. I looked down at his calm, peaceful sleeping face. My heart ached in my chest as I saw his eyes moving back and forth in a seemingly wonderful dream behind his closed, pale lids. I gently pushed away a stray strand of raven-colored hair from his face and admired how soft his cheeks were. His plump, pale lips trembled as he slept. The inside color of a shell, they were so tempting. How badly did I want to press my own lips against his, to stir him from his sleep and awaken him to the feeling of me, ever so gently brushing my face against his.

No. No, no, no. I slowly backed away from Ciel, a sudden undeniable horror striking through my chest. No. I could NOT allow myself to fall for anyone, ever again. Love was never suited for me, it will always end badly. If I fall for Ciel….then only pain will come to the both of us.

I gently slid off the mattress so not to disturb him, and backed away into a corner, wrapping my arms around my knees, and pulling my knees closely to my chest. I would not allow it-I could not allow it. But as I stared at his small, too-thin body shivering in cold and peacefully slumped in slumber, those thin, pale fingers searching for something on the bed in front of him, I could not help but feel the pang in my chest at knowing that all of my efforts were for none. It was much too late; I had already fallen for him. And I had fallen hard. With a sigh of defeat I crawled back over to the mattress and enveloped Ciel in my arms, his shivering immediately stopped and a sigh of relief and contentedness escaped his lips just so.

"Ciel, you fool. How could you have done this to me?" And with that, I placed a chaste, gentle kiss on Ciel's naked forehead, and fell into a deep slumber once again.

Ciel's POV:

When I woke up, it wasn't because Sebastian was crying, nor was it because a German soldier was kicking my side. It was because I had finally gotten a decent amount of sleep. The idea of it was a wonderful mystery, but I just snuggled deeper into the body of warmth that was next to me.

Wait. A body?

I looked up startled, and found Sebastian fast asleep, his breath slow and calm, and his arms wrapped tightly around me. Even though I knew he didn't really know it, my breath hitched and I felt a heat rising in my cheeks. I buried my face in his chest so that if he awoke, he wouldn't see the embarrassment that was woefully me. I quickly took a scope of my surroundings. I was lying on the bed with Sebastian. My back was turned towards the door, and I couldn't see it which made me slightly uncomfortable. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. There wasn't a sound, except for the _"drip, drip"_ of a leak somewhere in the distance. No one was coming. It was just Sebastian and I, and there was nothing to be afraid of. I sighed continued my inspection. I felt my legs tangled around something, and when I tried to move them Sebastian groaned in his sleep and gripped me tighter. At this, I realized our legs were tangled together, which didn't help my blush from steadily increasing. Sebastian was very, very close to me. So close, that when I put my head on his chest, I could feel and hear the steady beat of his heart, _"ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum."_ I closed my eyes and listened to his breathing, his heart beat, and felt the steady rise and fall of his chest; all signs that Sebastian was still alive and well, that he was real and still lying close to me.

It was the closest I had ever been to another human being in my life, and the feeling that it gave me was something like a mix of apprehension and ecstatic happiness. His gangly body made my stomach flip in my abdomen, his light breath on my face made my heart flutter in my chest. The feeling of his arms pulling me closer to him made my face rise with heat, and it was the best feeling in the world. But what was it? This tightness in my chest was something I had never before felt, and it both encouraged me and made me deeply afraid.

As I was taking in my surroundings and pondering the feelings that had grown in me, Sebastian began to stir in the beginnings of waking up. I could feel my cheeks heating up again as Sebastian's burgundy eyes opened wide and searched until they caught my own. Being so close to his face, I couldn't really tell what the expression was on Sebastian's face, but in his eyes I could see a mixture of sadness and happiness. It seemed strange to see those two expressions together in the same place. They didn't seem to mix. There was a word for that wasn't there? It was a strange word… an oxymoron...bittersweet. That's what it was. But what was so bitter about this?

As my thoughts rambled along in my head, I felt a panic rising in my chest. I must have made a mistake. He doesn't feel this way about me. Or he suspects me of being something I'm not. I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something I wasn't getting, but we stayed in complete silence for what seemed like ages. Finally, I couldn't stand it any longer. I broke eye contact and sat up abruptly, immediately wishing I hadn't. My mind was still foggy with the drugs the "doctor" gave me, and as I sat up the room began to twist and turn at an alarming rate. Slowly I laid back down and closed my eyes, trying to wave off the nausea that had so taken me by surprise. It was at that moment that something soft and wet brushed against my lips. Startled, my eyes shot open. What I found made my heart slam in my chest and my face blush such a red that I was sure I had a temperature. It was Sebastian, and he was kissing me; gently pressing his lips against mine in an attempt to get me to move along with him. My mind went foggy once again, but this time it was because I was so confused and distracted I couldn't think about anything else. I draped my arms across Sebastian's neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss and began to move my lips along with his.

This simple action brought with it results that made my heart soar in my chest. As we kissed, Sebastian let a manly moan escape his lips; he prodded my own with his tongue tentively, a request for entry. I accepted and parted my lips just so to let him explore the caverns of my mouth. As we pulled away for breath, both of us panting with the excursion, I couldn't help but blush an even deeper red and stare into those wonderful, and suddenly madly alive burgundy eyes. As he stared down at me, I suddenly felt like I was flying. I felt like I was soaring, higher than the birds or clouds could ever reach. I finally found the feeling in my chest that had been nagging at me. And the realization sent my brain hazy with excitement and wonder. It had once happened to Alois, with Claude. And now it was happening to me, with Sebastian.

The man lying on top of me suddenly took a deep breath and let it out in an exasperated sigh. He slumped on top of me, and as he did I curled my fingers in his thick mange of tremendous hair. When he spoke, his voice was deep and husky.

"I apologize so very much, Ciel. But je t'aime. I am so sorry. I don't know how this happened." I frowned and grabbed Sebastian's chin so that I could look into his eyes. There was a phrase there…I didn't quite get it. The syllables… I don't know. It sounded strange.

"I'm sorry. I didn't catch that… je t'aime **2**…I don't understand." I said slowly, testing out the words on my tingling tongue. Sebastian sighed and laid his head back down.

"It's probably for the best. Forget I said anything at all." I sighed and tangled my fingers in his hair again. My heart was still pounding heavily and my breath caught as Sebastian reached under my shirt with one of his cold hands and traced patterns on my stomach with his pale, thin fingers.

"S-Sebastian…" I muttered quietly. He turned his head up again to look at me.

"Hmm?" he said lazily. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"I-I'm afraid I don't know how to say this in French, so I apologize in advance if you don't understand… but I have to tell you, because I feel…exuberant and crazed around you, and I don't really know quite why… ik hou van je." I said quietly, and my face blushed slightly. Sebastian stayed quiet for a while, seeming to ponder my words for a moment.

"You know," he said thoughtfully, "you said that, earlier, right before you fell asleep." I nodded and turned my head away so that he couldn't see the heat rising in my cheeks. "I know…" Silence over came us again, and all we could hear was the _"drip, drip"_ of a leak somewhere in the distance, and our own breathing.

Without realizing it, I had fallen asleep. The only reason I knew was because the harsh pain of a boot in my side woke me up and made me fall onto the cold floor.

"_hoch mit dir, drecksau!_**3**_"_ I quickly stood up on my feet, wincing at the pain in my leg which still hadn't really healed, and tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes. The soldier moved out of our cell and ushered me to follow. I looked around the cell for Sebastian, and found him shivering in the corner, looking at me pleadingly with apology. I nodded my head to let him know I was okay, even though my insides were quaking with fear.

"_Beeil dich endlich_**4**_!"_ I hurried out of the cell and followed the soldier down the hall, trying my best not to tremble. This soldier was a woman, the first I had seen since I had gotten here. She had shoulder length, bright-red hair, as red as blood. Her skin was pale and seemingly smooth, and when she turned around to face me and shove me into the horrid, frightening white room, I caught a glimpse of her name tag- _Frau Red_. I gulped as the door closed shut in my face, horribly, silently, indefinitely. I shuddered and turned around. What I saw brought tears to my eyes and made my heart squeeze in my chest.

"Alois!" I cried, rushing to his side. His skin was pale and green, his face was gaunt and sickly, his eyes sunken in and dead-looking. His hair was frazzled and cut horribly. Little nicks and scars traveled the length of his sickly skeletal body.

"Alois…" I said again, quieter as I grabbed his hand in my own and gently squeezed. Alois turned his head slowly to me and his eyes widened in what look like surprise.

"C-Calder?" he said, puzzled. It took me a moment to remember that that was me he was talking to. I hadn't heard that name in such a long time.

"Yes, yes it's me, brother." I said, gently rubbing my thumb across the back of his hand. Alois smiled, and I could see that he was missing some teeth. The sight of him made me sick. What the hell had they done to him to make him in such rough shape?

"Calder…do you remember the song that mother and father used to sing to us when we were little?" the action of thinking back to the past, when we were all one happy family, together in Amsterdam, brought a great deal of pain, but to my great, aching heart, it looked as if Alois was going to shudder and crumple at any moment, so I thought hard and an inkling of a memory came to me.

"Y-yeah. I think so. What of it?" Alois sighed and closed his eyes.

"Will you sing it to me? You always had such a pretty singing voice, just like a girls'." I smiled sadly and nodded my head, and then closed my eyes in concentration. First I started humming the tune, trying desperately to remember the words, just for Alois.

"It's empty in the valley of your heart… the sun it rises slowly as you walk~" Alois nodded his head joyfully and smiled, his face taking on a sudden glow.

"Away from all the fears and all the faults you've left behind…" I took a deep breath. I suddenly knew that this would be the last time I would see my brother. The feeling in my chest was one of dread and an intense sadness that I had never experienced before.

"The harvest left no food for you to eat You cannibal, you meat-eater you see, But I have seen the same I know the shame in your defeat." Tears began to rip themselves from my eyes and my voice trembled with a harsh, echoing sadness as I sang the words of the song that had once meant our family was whole and one, but now seemed to represent the tearing apart and utter loneliness that I felt.

"But I~ will hold on hope, And I~ won't let you choke, On the noose around your neck. And I'll~ find strength in pain, And I~ will change my ways, I'll know my name as it's called again!" I gripped Alois' tiny, frail hand tighter with every word, my strength slowly diminishing as the words of the song seemed to slip out my mouth and right the past and present and future of my life and the current situation. Alois sighed contentedly and took a deep breath, barely managing to utter a weak, "Cause I have other things to fill my time, You take what is yours and I'll take mine, Now let me at the truth Which will refresh my broken mind." I gasped, as it was suddenly so incredibly hard to breathe.

"Alois…" Alois shushed me and placed a delicate finger to my lips.

"Don't be sad, Calder. Remember, brother, I love you. No matter what. And I will always look after you." Silent sobs began to wrack my body, but I wouldn't let go of Alois' hand.

A sudden sound rounded through the room as a man in a long, white, pristine lab coat entered the room, followed by a sturdy-looking soldier. The man spoke quietly in German to the soldier for a moment, and that's when he came over to my brother and I and seized my by the arms.

My mind suddenly went blank with terror. I couldn't stop screaming, I didn't want to feel any pain anymore, the thought of being cut to pieces once again sent me near-insane. I couldn't stand it. But the soldier never brought me closer to the operating table, he just held me so that I could see it. I began to calm down. Maybe they weren't going to cut me up this time. I stopped struggling, but didn't let my guard down.

Then the man in that _horrible_ white coat walked over to my brother and harshly picked him up and plopped him on the table. My brother groaned in pain at being handled so roughly as the doctor then began to place the restraints across my brother's wrists and arms and legs.

Reality and realization clicked in my head, no. they weren't going to harm me this time, not physically at least.

"No….NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed, letting my rage and fear travel in my voice. I began flailing again, trying desperately to get loose and save my brother from the horrors that they undoubtedly were about to perform on him.

"PLEASE, I'LL DO ANYTHING, Please! Don't you fucking DARE TOUCH MY BROTHER!" I screamed in Dutch at the top of my lungs. The man in the coat reached to his side and extracted a long, sharp carving knife. My chest vaulted and fear and adrenaline were running through my body like never before. But before I could do anything, before I could scream an ounce of my resistance, the man plunged the knife deeper into my brother's leg, straight through. I gasped and gagged as blood spurted from the wound and Alois' scream of pure and unadulterated pain broke through the air.

"ALOIS!" I cried out, struggling more than ever. But the man continued his actions, further breaking and cutting my brother up. Blood covered Alois and the man both. Alois moaned and screamed with every thrust of the knife. I gagged and through up what little I had in my stomach as the man cut deeper into Alois' pelvis. I closed my eyes and moaned, I could almost feel the pain that Alois was experiencing. Just the thought of it was enough to blind me with white-hot pain and confusion.

The man stopped for a moment to clean off the knife, or grab a new one. I didn't care. I stared in horror at Alois' bloody, broken body. He was hardly breathing and his face was written deeply in pain.

"C-Calder…" he whispered almost inaudibly, pathetically. I nodded my head.

"Yes, I'm here, Alois. What is it?" I tried my best not to show the pain at seeing my brother in such a horrid condition in my voice, but it was inevitable. Alois smiled grimly and coughed up blood.

"S-sing…to me…" tears were flowing freely down my face, now. I nodded my head again and took a deep, shaky breath. There was nothing else I could do. Nothing.

"So tie me to a post and block my ears… I can see widows and orphans through my tears, I know my call despite my faults, and d-despite my g-growing fears…" the song was like a perfect melody to the last moments of Alois' life on this earth, and my life as Alois' brother. As the man stabbed Alois again, I sang again, this time screaming the lyrics so that Alois could hear them above his own voice.

"But I~ will hold on hope! And I'll~ find strength in pain! And I~ will change my ways! I'll know my name as it's called again!" Alois screamed again, and my sobs were wracking my body so hard it was near-impossible to sing, but I did so, promising myself and Alois that I would continue until Alois' screams no longer penetrated the air.

"So come out of you cave walking on your hands, and see the world hanging upside down, You can understand dependence, when you know the maker's land…" As the last note I sung slowly died out, I noticed that it was the only sound in the room. I looked on at Alois. His eyes were closed, hiding the deadness in their infinite blue depths. His marred and bloody chest failed to rise, and his voice was gone, forever. A sob wracked my body as the realization hit like a ton of bricks in the chest.

"A-Alois!" I cried softly. The man looked at me for a while, as if he was expecting something from me. After a while of watching me cry my eyes out, he made a motion with his hands and the German soldier began to walk away, still holding me tightly in his burly arms, carrying me away from the horrible, bloody mess; carrying me away from my brother.

"NO! ALOIS!" I screamed as the door shut closed, blocking my view of my brother. It was the last time I ever saw him. The pain in the emptiness of my chest made me feel like my body was splitting apart.

"_Sing for me, Calder… Never forget your name…"_ Tears streamed down my face in a persistent, constant flow as I was carried back to my cell. The entire time, I was screaming the lyrics to the song that Alois had so loved.

"So make~ you sirens' call, and sing~ all you want! I will not hear what you have to say! Cause I~ need freedom now, and I~ need to know how, to live my life as it's meant to be!" The soldier grunted and dropped me in my cell; I paid no attention to Sebastian. To be honest, I wasn't really even aware that he was there. I gripped the bars of the cell and put my tear-streaked face up against them, screaming at the soldier as he reproached down the hall.

"And I~ will hold on hope! And I~ won't let you choke! On the noose around your neck! And I'll~ find strength in pain! And I~ will change my ways, I'll know my name as it's called again~!" I screamed and screamed, my tears dripping down my face and my sobs wracking through my body in utter despair.

"I won't forget, Alois…I promise…I won't forget!" I cried softly as I drifted back into the arms of Sebastian in a horrible, dreamless sleep.

**Told ya it was sad. Sorry. **

**Translations:**

"**Ik hou van je" –Dutch, "I love you"**

"**Je t'aime"-French, "I love you"**

"**hoch mit dir, Drecksau"-German, "up with you, bastard"**

"**Beeil dich endlich"-German, "Hurry up Finally"**

**And I think that's it! I'll try to update sooner, and I promise that it will look up (at least a little bit, for a little while) next chapter. But for now, good bye and Happy (really belated) New Year!**

**-Zexionienzo**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi guys! So I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. This isn't as long as I would have liked, but hopefully it's still good. WARNING: yaoiness ahead, don't like, then don't fucking read, bitches. Deal with it. That's all. Thank you.**

Ciel's POV:

_The snow drifted lightly in large flakes around me. I was enveloped in darkness. The only light coming from the shimmering flakes that continued to fall. I heard a rustle of feathers and the call of a crow in the distance, and suddenly all of the snowflakes turned into pure white feathers, silently shimmering as if they were made of that bright light. I felt like I was floating. What was wrong with me? I felt a burning in my eyes and a tingling sensation all over my body. _

"_Ciel?" I turned to the voice but saw only an opaque-colored bird perched on a black branch of wood. The action of moving my neck caused great pain throughout my body. _

"_What do you want?" I asked with difficulty. The birds' tiny black eyes shimmered and seemed to reflect the light coming from the still-drifting feathers all around us. _

"_I want to help you. But first, you need to wake up!" I cringed at the birds words. They reminded me of somebody. They held a gentleness I couldn't remember with a trace of desperation and something else that I couldn't decipher. I felt a sudden tightness in my chest. I didn't want to wake up. I was perfectly fine being in this dark world. And what the hell did this strange bird care if I awoke or not? _

"_I-I don't want to!" I whispered quietly, tears of an unknown origin beginning to fall down my pale, cold cheeks. _

"_And besides, why do you want to help me? I haven't done anything for you before, I don't even know you!" I cried, my voice slowly gaining strength with every word. The bird seemed to frown, and a small tear appeared to drip form it left eye. But birds didn't cry, right?_

"_No, Ciel. Birds don't cry, but demons do." I stared at the bird, startled._

"_Are you a demon?" The black bird shifted from one foot to the other. _

"_Of sorts, yes." My eyes went wide with shock. This only decreased my feelings towards the strange bird._

"_Then how do you expect me to trust and believe you?" I asked, my skepticism evident in my words. The bird nodded sadly._

"_I understand if you don't want me anymore, but I need you to trust me, Ciel, Calder. Whoever you currently are." My eyes widened further at the use of my true name. How did this small insignificant creature know my name? Why did he care so much? And why did his sound so irrevocably familiar? I felt my heart tighten in my chest. H-he was somebody I knew, wasn't he? Why did I feel like I needed to do as he says? WHO IS HE?_

_ My mind was buzzing with all these questions that I couldn't seem to answer, and it was driving me near insane._

"_B-but why do y-you care s-so much?" I asked, my voice shaking. The bird ruffled his feathers again._

"_Because, Ciel. I love you." I stared at the bird. H-how was that p-possible? But suddenly, it didn't matter, because I understood. My chest released its fright to let in something new and completely strange to me. It was big and warm, and it just barely fit inside my chest, but it filled my whole being and warmed me from head to toe. I smiled gently, tears still streaming down my face._

"_Okay." With that, the feathers around us began to fall harder and a harsh wind flew them up in a whirl wind of black. My heart thudded in my chest, I didn't like the darkness. _

"_I-I'm scared!" I couldn't see the bird anymore, and I couldn't hear him either. It was just me and the feathers. I heard a shout and the feathers burst everywhere, returning to their previous, glimmering state. I felt a soft, nimble hand on my cheek and I turned to face its owner. I meet with a pair of two, large, shinning, burgundy eyes filled with tears. I knew those eyes, I knew I did. But why couldn't I place a name to this beautiful, beautiful face? _

"_Come on, let's go." I nodded my head and the man, or just barely that, he was around my age, lifted me in his arms. I fell against his chest and laid my head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his intoxicating scent. I wrapped my arms around him and held on tightly to his strong form. The arms that enclosed me gripped tighter and held fast around my tiny body. I felt small and safe, like a child, in these large arms. _

"_Take me home." I felt the boy holding me sigh._

"_What home we have left…" he replied. I heard the rustling of feathers, and then….everything went black. _

I awoke with a start, my breathing ragged and my chest tight. I looked around, taking in my surroundings. I was still in this stupid, decrepit cell, and it was hard and cold. Except for the warmth right next to me, that made my heart race and my skin tingle wherever it touched. I turned my head and saw Sebastian's peaceful, sleeping form. He had his arms wrapped tightly around me, his warm breath hitting my face every time he breathed.

"Sebastian…" I murmured. He shifted slightly in sleep so that we were even closer than before. I felt something move in my chest, and a familiar feeling of warmth spreading though out my body. I sighed and moved closer to Sebastian, resting my head in his chest, listening to the thud of his heart. I closed my eyes again, and an image of feathers floating surrounded the blackness behind my closed lids. That's strange…

"Sebastian…" I muttered again before the gods of sleep took over my body.

O-O-O-O-O-

"_Aufstehen du drekige schweine! _**1**_"_ I sat bolt right up, my body trembling all over. I looked around to see a fat soldier standing over me, his breath stinking of beer and puke, and his body odor overwhelming. I turned quickly to Sebastian who was still sleeping soundly, his eyes closed peacefully and his breath deep in soundless unconsciousness. The German's eyes seemed to bug out of his head as he repeated his words from before, with more ferocity. I quickly shook Sebastian's shoulder, regretfully waking him from his slumber.

"Wha-?"

"_AUFSTEHEN DU DREKIGE SCHWEINE!" _The soldier screamed at us. Sebastian was standing in an instant, gripping my hand tightly.

"Follow him, he's talking to the both of us." He whispered quietly as the soldier walked out of our cell. I did as I was told, gripping Sebastian's hand tightly in my own. I didn't want to go back…they had never made Sebastian go with me…what was so different about today?

But I soon discovered they the soldier wasn't taking us to that horrible white room, we were going to a part of our Hell that we'd never been before, and it was just as bad.

The room we were brought to was large and filthy, lined up on the walls were bunk beds, five beds to a tier. On every bed was a person, often more than one. I walked closer to Sebastian, gripping his hand tighter. I could feel my entire body trembling in fright. What was this madness? The people in the room were all male, and seemed to range in age from about ten to fifty. There were very few boys that looked my age, and this fact alone troubled me greatly.

"Aufenthalt." The soldier said coldly, and then he left. I turned to Sebastian for a translation, but he was staring on in horror. I followed his gaze but all I saw was rows and rows of beds and boys and men, all filthy, and all sick and thin.

"Sebastian?" I said quietly, afraid to disturb his train of thought. He closed his burgundy eyes and shuddered, pulling his hand out of my grasp and draping his arm around my shoulders.

"Follow me, and don't look at anybody." I was surprised by the coldness in his voice and the hard look in his eyes as we walked down the narrow, dirt hall. Sebastian stopped in front of a tier of beds, all full accept the bottom one.

"We're going to sleep here, okay?" I nodded my head, but inside I could feel my heart beating in my chest and I could feel my blood pumping and I could hear my brothers screams as was being torn apart by a wicked, wicked man dressed in a white lab coat, and there was blood everywhere, and I couldn't take it!

I fell to my knees, covering my ears with my hands, trying desperately to erase the images from my mind, to block out the horrible screams that ricocheted in my skull. I was completely blind to the world around me, all I could see was my dark, despicable existence in this Hell called Strasbourg.

"Ciel." I felt a gentle hand on my back, and his voice shattered the sounds of my brother screaming, and chased away the nightmares. I looked up into those beautiful, beautiful pools of burgundy that were so strange and held no trace of hate or dislike, only love and kindness and a deep sadness that was hard to grasp.

"Come on, we have to sleep for a little while longer…before they take us out." I cringed. I didn't want to go anywhere.

"Out where?" I asked, my voice sounding much too small and scared. Sebastian's eyes grew hateful, just for a moment, and then it was gone, but it was there.

"To work in the fields." My eyes went wide and my heart grew in my chest. I would be able to go outside? To see the sunshine? To breathe fresh air? To see the sky? I would get to hear the birds? But how and why did Sebastian know this? And why did it trouble him so much? I was about to ask this when a man from two bunks above us threw me a hateful look.

"Will you go to bed already?" I gulped, a slight trace of fear creeping back into my heart. I looked suspiciously at the small space before me, but crawled in. unlike our mattress in our cell, this bed had a pillow, something I hadn't seen in what seemed like years. Sebastian crawled in after me, and the space grew dark and close. I felt his arms wrap around me tightly, Sebastian's' warmth seeping through his skin and into mine. I sighed against his chest and snuggled closer.

"Ik hou van je, Sebastian." The black-haired man sighed sadly and rubbed his thumbs in circles on my back. I lifted my face up to see the expression on his face, to see what he was feeling because I felt lost and confused, and I couldn't see how Sebastian could be so calm and all-knowing. But I never got to see his face, for his lips caught mine and pressed hard against me, making my heart leap in my throat and warmth spread throughout my whole body.

Sebastian's hands left my back and went to my face, pulling me closer to him and deepening our kiss. I could feel myself trembling in his arms, but this time it wasn't from fright or from being cold. It was something very, very different; something I couldn't really explain. Sebastian's tongue licked at my bottom lip greedily, and I complied by opening my mouth for him. His tongue scraped the roof of my mouth and tangled with my own. I moaned into his mouth, completely unaware of the people all around us, and I wouldn't have cared even if I had been aware them. The only thing I felt at that particular moment was Sebastian's hands roaming over my body, slipping under my shirt and rubbing my chest, making me moan again into his mouth.

Sebastian's hand reached around and moved low on my back, pulling my lower body closer to his. I gasped as I felt something different in my nether regions. I blushed a deep red in embarrassment as I realized deep, hot warmth between my legs. I gulped and breathed heavily against Sebastian's lips.

"I-I'm sorry…" I whispered as quietly as I could. Sebastian smiled in the darkness and rubbed my cheek with his thumb.

"It's okay…but I think we have might have to fix that." I blushed an even deeper shade of red, as I remembered where we were.

"B-but..there's all these other people, and-" Sebastian quieted me with his lips.

"They're all asleep, they don't matter, Ciel. All that matters here is you and me." I nodded slowly and pressed close against Sebastian again.

"Okay." And with that Sebastian wrapped his arms around me again, pulling me into another deep kiss. I moaned against him and felt myself get hotter all over as his hand traveled further down my body, and slipped into my pants. I gasped as the cool air hit me and shivered as it hit my warm skin.

"shhh." Sebastian whispered gently. My breath hitched and I gasped as I felt his fingers close around my organ. I trembled and wrapped my arms around Sebastian, grasping the back of his shirt tightly with my fingers. Sebastian's lips closed against my own once again as his hand began to move, and I squeezed my eyes shut as I kissed him, trying desperately not to make a sound. But I found that to be quite impossible as Sebastian picked up his speed and I let out a moan, it was like nothing I had ever felt before in my life, it was intoxicating and made me feel crazy.

"Se-Sebastian!" I started to feel like I was going to burst; I was overflowing with pleasure and love for Sebastian. Somehow, and I don't know how because we were in a very, very small space, Sebastian bent down and clasped his lips around my organ. I gasped and groaned, pulling my fingers through his hair as I reached my climax.

"S-Seb-bastian!" I said again, desperately trying to warn him, but he seemed ready, and he swallowed all of my cum. I gasped; amazed that he could accomplish such a feat. He came back up to face me, his face flushed and his breathing heavy.

"Did that feel good?" I let out a contented sigh, slowly coming down from my intoxicating high.

"Yes." I whispered breathily. Sebastian's lips curved up into a smile and his pressed his lips against mine. I could faintly taste myself on him, and I cringed a little bit at the bitter taste.

"I've missed you, Ciel. You were asleep for a long time." I sighed sadly and snuggled closer against Sebastian's chest.

"I'm sorry. I missed you too…they…they…" I felt my body trembling again. I didn't want to talk about it, not at all, but I felt like I had to tell Sebastian, I owed it to him for causing him so much pain.

"They killed my brother." I whispered shakily. Sebastian stiffened against me.

"What?" he whispered, fear laced in his voice. I trembled against him and felt the tears beginning to fall down my cheeks.

"I-I saw th-the m-man in wh-white r-rip him apart right in fr-front of me, a-and I…I…I couldn't help him at all!" Sebastian wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, enveloping me in his warmth. He didn't say anything, and I was glad of that. I didn't want to know what he would have said. He had never met my brother before, and it was something that I could never change.

We were silent for a while, and I almost thought that Sebastian was asleep, for his breathing had slowed and his heart beat gradually beat slower and slower.

"Ciel, I promise that I'll get you out of here." Hearing those words was like a knife cutting through the silence, and it warmed my heart better than anything ever could. I nodded my head and snuggled deeper into Sebastian's chest.

"Just promise me that we'll never have a white room." Sebastian craned his head down to stare at me, eyes wide with surprise. I stared back at him, completely serious.

"You'd stay with me? Even if you knew you were free?" I gaped at him. Had Sebastian really just thought that I would up and leave him?

"You think I would leave you? I…I could never leave you, Sebastian…I don't think I would be able to." Sebastian smiled down at me and closed his eyes.

"Good. Because I don't think I would have been able to leave you either."

**So? How was it? Bad? Good? Let me know! **

**Translations:**

"**Aufstehen du drekige schweine!"- Get up filthy pigs!**

**And that's it. Yup. Hopefully there will be another update soon! (probably a week from now…) R&R to let me know if you liked it or not!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys, so I apologize a million times for the late update, but I hope that this is sufficient enough! I'm also sorry because I got some bad grades on my report card, so my mother may or may not be taking away my cpu privileges, just warning you guys ahead of time because if that happens, my updation on this may be limited, and I am apologizing in advance for that. Well, anyways, I hope you all enjoy this, I am sorry again for the late update, and promise to do my best to improve my grades and hopefully update as often as I can! Thanks for your understanding!**

Ciel's POV:

We were awoken very early in the morning. I could tell because there were doors to the outside world in our room, and there was a very thin shimmer of dull light coming from the crack in the door. Sebastian rolled out from under the bunk first, and I followed. The people around us were the same as yesterday, all boys and men, but this time they were rubbing sleep from their eyes and yawning and grumbling about having to get up.

"Where are they taking us?" I asked Sebastian quietly, gripping his arm. A boy with magnificent red hair clapped me on the back roughly.

"To work in the fields, man." He was speaking French as well, but with a thick accent I couldn't identify. I frowned at the boy in confusion as we were led closer to the exit of the room.

"Fields? Like…outside?" the boy nodded sadly, but my heart leapt with joy. Outside. It was a concept that had been lost to me with my time in the cell with no windows and no doors, just bars and cold cement. The thought of being able to see the sky, to hear the birds chirping, _to see the sun_, was all like a marvelous dream that I would soon awake from and discover it all to be untrue.

"Really!" I gripped Sebastian's arm tighter, just like a child, and smiled. I was almost surprised with myself, the muscles used in my face for smiling hadn't been used in so long, it almost hurt to, but I kept on smiling like my life depended on it, because I was going to go outside. The boy looked at me like I was crazy, and Sebastian ruffled my hair like I was a little kid, but I didn't care in the least. My lungs longed for that first breath of fresh air, my body ached for the feeling of non-stale air on my skin, and my feet were desperate to feel that soft soil in between my toes.

"_Zu bewegen!"_**1.** A soldier yelled at the mass of us. It was a little over whelming. I hadn't been with so many people in a very long time. But the doors opened to reveal, sweet, wonderful, blissful sunshine. The sight of it made my heart sing with hedonistic revere and brought tears to my eyes.

"S-Sebastian!" I whispered in awe. Those chivalric burgundy eyes stared at me with curiosity.

"What it is?" He asked just as softly, placing one of his smooth, aerial hands upon my shoulder. A single tear jerked from my eyes down my cheek as I walked out and was bathed in the suns glorious, opulent, glimmering light. I sighed and closed my eyes, basking in its familiar and remarkable warmth.

"It's the sun!" I whispered in amazement, staring at the blindingly bright, yellow-white orb drifting in the sky. Sebastian smiled and looked up, shielding his eyes. The sky was like an electric blue, not a single cloud in its azure depths, framed around me by leafless-branches and cold, crystal-clear air that pierced through me with a magnificent sharpness even now I cannot describe. The feeling that had suddenly come over me was one of fervent beatitude, the electricity of the moment roared through me like the strong current of an unstoppable river; it made me feel whole, it made me feel _alive_!

"_Beeilen Schwein!_"**2.** Sebastian gently pushed my back to get me moving, and I followed him dazedly. I didn't care at this moment that the "moist soil" beneath my foot was, in reality, cold, frozen grown with patches obstructed with snow and ice. We were led to a dirt field half dug up in trenches. The field was massive and brown, boring and dull, but I didn't care. I was handed a shovel and Sebastian led me to a side of one of the trenches and motioned for me to start digging. I followed suit, but found that the frozen earth had to be prodded from its spot, for it was stubbornly stuck to the ground.

"What are we digging, Sebastian? Do you know?" I looked over my shoulder to see if he would respond, but he just gave me a look of worry and warning, and continued digging. I looked at him curiously. Why wasn't he speaking to me? Were we not allowed to? Was it dangerous? Would it lead to going back inside? The thoughts swam through my brain and brought up images of what "punishment" could be for not digging. I shuddered and immediately continued my tedious, back-breaking work.

As I dug, I thought. There wasn't much else to, because I assumed I couldn't talk, and I certainly couldn't stop to sit down or anything. I thought about my old life, how much things had change, how much _I _had changed. I thought about how I came to this hell whole small and unimportant and naive about the world and love and family, I came here as a boy, an idiot, a _brother_. The thought of my brother sent torrents of pain through my body, not physical pain. No, not in the least. It was the feeling of loss and emptiness I felt that threatened to send me to my knees, gasping for breath and desperately attempting to keep from falling apart. I hadn't been a good brother. I never knew why Alois was so cold to me when we first got here, I don't know why they separated us, but from what I saw of Alois, he was treated far worse than I, but he never told me what happened to him, and he always watched me being…cut up by that…that _demon_. I shuddered again and swung another shovel full of dirt over my shoulder.

I looked at my small, thin hands as I worked. They were pale and almost skeletal, just like the rest of my body. I had a difficult time remembering the last good meal that made my stomach full. Just the thought of my mother's wonderful sweet bread made my mouth full of saliva. I couldn't wait to get out of here. How long had it been since I had first come here? How old was I now? Had I been here for only a few months, as it appeared to be early winter or late fall, or had I been here more than a year without my knowing? Suddenly, the hunger in my gut to know the date haunted me like an ominous cloud of despair. I felt like if I didn't know how much time I had been here, I wouldn't know how much time I would have left, and I would be stuck here forever. I looked up to the sky briefly to try and decipher what time it was. That was my first concern. I could calculate the time by the sun's position in the sky. It looked to be mid-afternoon, as the sun was in between the space right above my head, and the horizon. I sighed. Maybe Sebastian would know. I looked over my shoulder again to see how he was doing, and discovered that he was no longer behind me. Fear struck straight through my heart and nearly paralyzed me. I slowly turned my head from side to side, searching desperately in the immense field for that opaque, shiny hair that hung in that beautiful face, for those terrifying and glorious burgundy eyes that bore through my soul and plunged deep into the depths of my heart. At each turn of my head, my heart quickened in anticipation and worry.

"Hey, kid with the funny eyes." I turned to my left to find that same red-haired kid from before. He was staring at me strangely again.

"What are you searching for? There's not much out here to be looking for…" my throat tightened and made it harder for me to breathe.

"Did you see the other boy I was with earlier? The one with the red eyes? Have you seen him?" the red haired kid smiled gently and nodded his head, pointing to an expanse of field ahead of us. I spotted Sebastian bent over a trench, digging deeper and deeper. I sighed with relief and kept my eyes glued ahead, determined to reach him.

"Thank you." The boy nodded.

"My name is Lavi, I'm from Romania." I turned to the boy again in surprise.

"I'm from Amsterdam, my name is….Ciel." I said the last part quietly. I had never really spoken the name Sebastian gave me out loud. It sounded strange to tell someone that was my name, when for so long I had been called Calder. It was almost like I had an identity crisis. Lavi chuckled.

"You sure about that?" I smiled politely back at him. He seemed really nice, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell people much about myself. I didn't know any of them, and they didn't know me. I didn't know what they had been through, and I had no idea if it was anything similar to what I had been through in this place, but I knew that I would have rather dug a million trenches than lose my brother.

"It's…a long story." Lavi nodded, like he understood and began digging again.

"Well do you mind if I tell you a little about myself as we dig?" I shook my head in reply, but was surprised by his question. Why would he want to tell me anything? We'd only just met. We didn't know each other at all, and once we left this horrible place, we probably would never see each other again.

"No, it's okay." Lavi smiled at me. The look in his eyes was a mix of sadness and an intense thankfulness that surprised me.

"My mother was born in Romania; she was part of a Gypsy clan that traveled around Europe. My father was a trader from Greece. When he was traveling through Romania once, he met my mother and immediately fell in love with her. She loved him to, but refused to leave her family, so he left his and stayed with her. They wed, even though my mother's parents disapproved of the fact that my father wasn't a gypsy. A year into their marriage, my sister was born. She looked just like my mother, with darker skin and curling black hair. She was beautiful, and everybody loved her…" Lavi stopped talking for a moment and took a deep breath. I looked over at him only to discover that he was struggling to keep tears from falling down his pale, boney cheeks. The boy sniffled, wiped his eyes, and continued his story.

"When I was born, I looked just like my father, with his red hair and green eyes. He was a great man. He always told the best stories, and was kind to so many people. My mother was warm and loving, she always called my sister and I her, "baby chickens"." Lavi chuckled before continuing his story.

"Romania allied itself with Germany when the War started, and my father tried to get us out of the country. He only succeeded in getting us to the boarder, but the German soldiers and Romanian authorities had started taking all gypsies and sending them to camps and killing them off everywhere. A German brigade caught my family. They killed my father as soon as they discovered he had married a Gypsy and had children with her. Then they took me, my sister, and my mother here. They separated my sister and I from our mother. I haven't seen her since arriving here, and I don't know what's happened to her, but I can't imagine its anything good. My sister and I soon discovered that we were at an experimental facility. We'd heard about them before, but thought it only to be rumors. We couldn't imagine how people could do such harm to one another, we'd grown up living peaceful lives and the near thought of violence sickens me." I nodded my head in agreement to this statement, for it only reminded me of being that wretched white room.

"They began an experiment on my sister and I called 'Sterilization'. It's when they do stuff to you to make sure you can't have babies. They did different things to the both of us, always in front of one another. My sister…" Lavi's face was drenched in sweet, dirt and tears. I couldn't help but feel horrible for this poor boy who was in such a similar predicament to my own, I felt my own eyes going watery in empathy for Lavi, I couldn't help but think about the intense amount of pain he was in, just as I was over losing my brother.

"They cut her up so badly…she couldn't be healed. They took out parts of her I don't even know the name of, and she kept…she kept screaming! And she wouldn't stop! They wouldn't give her any medicine, and they just kept cutting her up!" Lavi had stopped shoveling, and his hands were shaking as if he was no longer in control of his actions.

"She died within two days of the experimentation…her name was Catalena, and she was my sister. She was eighteen, and she was beautiful and loved, and they killed her like she was an animal not worthy of life. And then they started on me…" Lavi's voice got really quiet then, and I had to strain to hear what he was saying. His face was sickeningly white, and his eyes were wide. He looked insane, and I didn't doubt that looking back upon his horrible memories would have made him so.

"They used radiation on me. I didn't know it until afterwards and the soldiers looked at me and laughed, and told me what had happened. All they told me upon going into the room was that I had to fill out paperwork about my origin and race. But during that time, they had given me radiation treatment to make me sterile…and now I can't have kids. Ever." Lavi's face was pulled tight in a mixture of anger and sadness. It made me worry. It made me think. What had all these other people been through? Where they in the same predicament as Lavi and I? Had they lost anybody? What was their story?

"I have…these burns, all up and down my legs. They're horrible, and they hurt like hell. They make me sick, Ciel. They make me sick emotionally and physically. They make me weak, and I think that that was part of their intention to. With weak legs, there's a low chance of me trying to get away." I threw another shovel full of dirt over my shoulder and stared straight at Lavi.

"Lavi, I'm going to get out of here. I don't know how yet, but I am determined to. I can't take it here much longer, it holds too much horror and grief and insanity, and it makes me crazy, I can feel my insides rotting to mush. The only thing that has kept me from sinking into these depths is Sebastian." I said with as much strength as I could muster. Lavi gave me a strange look.

"Sebastian? What do you want with that guy?" I smiled and continued digging.

"I love him." Lavi's eyes went wide at that. He turned away from me and we continued digging in silence for a while.

"Don't tell anybody that, Ciel. That kind of information is extremely dangerous." I frowned.

"What do you mean? How could that be dangerous?" Lavi laughed, but it held no trace of humor what so ever. It was purely homicidal and sinister.

"Because they'll eat you alive. Sebastian already knows that, that's why he's here. I don't know what they hell they do to him, but for whatever reason, they take him away for most of the time. Sometimes he comes and works with us, but he mostly is somewhere else. Whenever he comes back, he's frazzled and usually can't make coherent sentences until he has to leave again." I froze, mid-dig. What the hell was Lavi talking about? Sebastian was always with me, when would he ever have time to come here? But then something occurred to me, and its seriousness struck me like a slap in the face. What did they do with Sebastian whenever I was gone? What did they do with him while I was passed out in pain all those times? Up until now I had thought that he was always in the cell with me…but Lavi made that theory questionable.

"All right pip squeak, it's time to head back." I looked up and discovered, to my surprise, that the sun was quickly setting. My heart dropped in my chest. There was no way I wanted to go back to that dark little room. I wanted to see the sun again; I wanted to bask in its glory for all of eternity. But Lavi grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my trench and back to the building we had emerged from. This building, I called it Hell.

Once inside the housing complex, I made my way back to the bed that Sebastian and I had occupied the previous night. I was positively exhausted. My bones felt like they were creaking and my skin felt like it was going to rip off my body. When I made it to the thin mattress, I found it unoccupied, with Sebastian nowhere to be found.

"Hey kid." I turned around to find a scruffy looking man with messy dark hair and fierce brown eyes.

"Don't make so much noise tonight, got it? Some of us have to get sleep here, unlike you." I blushed so red I was sure that my face was on fire. I nodded my head quickly and dashed under the bottom bunk, cowering away in the embarrassment that was me. I thought back on Lavi's words, and hoped with my life that not too many people had heard me.

"Ciel…" I looked out from under my post to find a pale, drawn Sebastian. I frowned and ushered him under the bunk with me. I held his cold hand in my own. His eyes looked dead and far, far away. His whole body was cold and his lips were blue. I searched his face for any sign to what was causing him to act so abnormally, but he didn't say anything.

"Sebastian…what's wrong? Are you okay?" Sebastian looked at me, a trace of worry and fear deep in his burgundy eyes.

"No, I'm not okay, and I don't know if I ever will be. I can't be here tonight; they're going to take me away for a little while. Do you understand?"

_No. no. no. no. no. don't do it, Ciel. Damn it, I told you not to. Look what ya did, you went and did it. Great, just great. _ I stared at Sebastian in shock for a minute before the information registered in my brain, and the questions started popping up.

"WH-why? What are they going to do to you? Why do they have to take you away? Don't go Sebastian, please don't go! I-I don't want them to take you away, not like Alois, no, they can't do this! You're all I have le-." Sebastian stopped me by placing his lips to my own. Their coldness sent shivers down my spine; it was like he was an ice king.

"They're not going to take me away like Alois; I promise I will be back tomorrow. I love you Ciel. Don't forget that, okay?" Sebastian smiled sadly before slipping his hands out of my loosened grip and moving out from under the bed.

"_jetzt bewegen, Schwein!"_ **3. **A German soldier shouted at Sebastian from outside. I heard a dull thud, and a grunt. I saw Sebastian's feet falter as he was hit, and my heart tightened in my chest. I saw and heard his soft footsteps slowly move further and further away from me, leaving a cold emptiness beside me.

_Sebastian…I promise to do better…_

**Sorry again, let me know if you guys liked this chapter, if you thought it was too short, too long, my writing was bad, please, all constructive criticism is welcome! I love you all and hope to see you all again soon in the next installment of Hunger, where we might actually have some kind of plot development! :p**

**Translations: **

**Move!**

**Hurry Pig!**

**Move now, pig!**


	9. IM SO SORRY CH9

**OHMYGOD. IF I COULD APOLOGIZE INFINTE TIME, I WOULD I AM SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING. I know that this chapter is short, and I'm so sorry for it. I wrote another one that was longer, but I mistakenly made Sebastian COMPLETELY OOC. It was horrible, so I had to write a new one…and I procrastinated a lot, and had horrible, horrible writers block. So I'm sorry for the shortness, and I apologize a million times for the lack in updation, I really am. Here ya go:**

Sebastian's POV:

I winced as the soldier hit me. I knew that this was not going to end well, but I couldn't let Ciel know. He's already dealing with so much. My heart ached just thinking about him. I hoped that this war would end soon so that we could be rid of all this pain. _Thud_! God dammit! When will they stop thrashing their guns around, it's positively barbaric!

I was lead around the hall to another room filled with sharp, metal objects and bowls that looked like they should have come from another planet. I gulped. This looked worse than usual.

"Hmm, sixty-four….that is your number, correct?" A man spoke in French at me. I gulped and looked down at the number burned in my wrist.

"Yes." The German nodded. He had blonde hair that was slicked back to his head and oval glasses that shielded his eyes from my view. Then he said something to the other Soldier behind me, who immediately pushed me to a white bench-table with leather straps.

"Lay down, slime." He said disgustedly. I froze in my spot. Lay down? Lay down? Did he really expect me to fall to my own death like that? But I did what he said when I felt the barrel of a gun against the side of my head.

"Well, we have a bit of a surprise for you today, 64. There's this new experiment doctor Mengele wants to try out…regarding your unfortunate eyes and hair color." I gulped, eyes starring wide as I willingly allowed the man to strap me down. Fear bubbled in my chest, but I did my best to keep my cool. If I showed any sign of weakness, it would certainly be the death of me.

"So now, to begin…" The man reached behind him and turned around with a syringe full of some kind of white liquid. My eyes widened. What was he going to do with that? I gulped, and as the syringe got closer and closer to my face, I squeezed my eyes shut. I refused to go through with this without putting up a fight.

"Aw, come on 64…It won't hurt that bad…" I cried out as my eyes were pried open by the soldier.

"S-stop!" The doctor laughed wickedly.

"Oh, I believe it is all too late for that, fool." I felt the syringe puncture the corner of my eye, and a silky whiteness clouded my vision. At first, there was no pain, but then…

Ciel's POV:

As we sat in the dark of the cabin, Lavi and I exchanged words and stories we'd known from home. I was trying my best to keep my mind off Sebastian, otherwise I knew I would go crazy with worry. But it was inevitable, every passing minute was another minute that Sebastian could be put in harm's way by those...those creatures, and the feeling of helplessness I had in saving him didn't make the situation any better.

"Hey." Lavi's voice brought me out of my scrambled mind. He was smiling warmly.

"Don't worry, He'll be fine. I promise." At that moment, a blood-curdling scream echoed through the hall and bounced off the walls of the room. I stared at Lavi in shock. His eyes went wide. It sounded dangerously like Sebastian's deep voice.

"Lavi! Th-that could have been him! What if they-they do something horrible to him? What if he- what if he-!" my throat choked up with tears and my heart tightened in my chest. _No, I-I can't say it! I can't think like that! _

"Shhh, Calm down Ciel, I'm sure that wasn't him!" But Lavi's voice wavered, and I knew he was lying. I hugged my knees close to my chest and rocked backwards. My head was whirling with worries and horrible images of what they could be doing to him. My heart was pounding so fast I could hardly stand it. I didn't want to be alone again. I didn't want another person I loved to vanish at the hands of these bastards!

"Lavi…how long does it usually take for Sebastian to come back?" Lavi gave me a sympathetic gaze before speaking.

"Oh, usually he's back within a day…except for the times when he was in another cell with…well, you I'm assuming." I nodded my head. Maybe…maybe I had nothing to worry about. I sighed and closed my eyes, willing my brain to calm down and stop thinking up ridiculous things for them to do to Sebastian. The screaming from around the hall continued, however, and the man's yells of pain were horrible and terrifying. It wasn't a sound a man should make, helpless and agonizing. I winced and put my hands over my ears.

"Shut up shut up shut up shut up!" I growled miserably. Lavi patted my back. Most of the people in our cabin were silent as they listened to the man's cries of suffering, each and every one of them feeling his pain.

Sebastian didn't come back that night, and as I laid alone in the bed, the man's painful cries from earlier having died down, my mind kept me wide awake with the most gruesome possibilities my imagination could conjure. As the morning sun crept through the cracks in the wall, I rolled out of bed and sat on the cold floor, waiting for the day to bring anything but bad news.

"_Aufstehen du Drecksau!_**1**_"_ As the others climbed out of bed drudgingly, I walked briskly down the way to the door, eager to feel the sun's comforting light against my skin once again. I was granted this desire almost immediately; the doors swung open and I rushed out into the crisp morning air, relishing in its refreshing feel. The cold cleared my mind a bit and allowed me to take back some control over my thoughts. I grabbed a shovel and started digging where the soldiers told me to, keeping my head down from the people working besides me. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I just needed to be alone. I needed to feel the soil in my toes. I needed to feel the breeze on the back of my neck, and the sun on my face. I sighed miserably as I shoveled dirt over my shoulder. _I need to be free._ I thought with annoyance.

I angrily shoveled the insufferable, hard, cold dirt around me. None of this made any sense. It seemed impossible for one person to ever think that enslaving people, that harming them and killing them, would ever, ever be okay. I felt an angry heat rise in my chest. As I shoveled, I looked around. We were fenced in on all sides by tall wire walls. The depressing, cold building behind me was big and concrete. No way could we break through that. There was a shack next to it with the shovels and other gardening supplies. From what I could see, there wasn't any kind of opening, but I didn't erase the possibility. I had to get out of here with Sebastian. I had to free myself.

A whistle blew as the sun began to set, signaling the return to the cabin. I looked around the shed when I returned my shovel, but it was hard to see in the dark. I would have to wait for another day. I walked slowly back to my bed post and watched with amusement as Lavi stumbled into the bed next to mine.

"God, I'm exhausted. That shoveling is tough work." I smiled sadly.

"I'm just glad I get to be outside, before, they had me shut up in a dark, cold cell for months." Lavi nodded.

"I supposed there's an upside to everything." I nodded. How long had I been here? I was never good at telling time, that was….Alois' strong suit. I gulped.

"Lavi…you don't by chance happen to know the date, do you?" the red haired boy looked up in surprise.

"umm, 'fraid not, but I think there's a man here who does…he was obsessed with the time before he came here, and last I checked he had it up to date." Lavi pulled me up off the bed and dragged me down to the other side of the cabin, where a man seemingly in his mid-forties sat, carving something into the hard floor.

"Hey, um… Aal, right?" The man looked up and grunted in reply.

"Um, I'm Lavi, and this is Ciel. We were just curious if you would care to share today's date with us." The man looked into the ground and mumbled something under his breath.

"S-sorry sir, I didn't quite catch that…" Lavi said nervously. I glanced briefly at his face only to find the green-eyed boy as nervous as I was.

"It is May 14, 1942. Now go away." Lavi quickly shuffled away from the man, dragging me behind him.

"Woo. That guy totally freaks me out." I stared at the floor in amazement, my throat tight. I had been here for two years. How had it been so long? That meant that I was…eighteen years old already! I glanced at Lavi.

"I-I'm eighteen." I whispered. Lavi stopped his rambling.

"Really?" he asked with mild surprise. I nodded my head in disbelief.

"I need to get out of here."

The cabin was dark when Sebastian returned. I heard the German soldier push him around until he reached our bed. Sebastian grunted as the soldier shoved him. I held my breath, bracing myself for the worst. Sebastian crawled into the tight space timidly. His face seemed paler and gaunter, his hands were shaking with cold, and there was a white bandage over his right eye. I winced at the horrible color and gently laid my hand across his cheek.

"Sebastian…what did they do to you?" Sebastian smiled sadly, returning my question with a pleading glint in his glorious left eye. _Please don't ask me anything…_ I sighed and nodded my head. I wrapped my arms around his shivering frame and held his body close to my own. He was breathing. His blood was flowing. He was alive. I sighed in relief and rubbed warmth into his spinely back. Whatever was going to happen next, whatever they did to me, I didn't care. I was determined to find a way out of here.

Sebastian's POV:

I awoke with a groan. My head was killing me, and I felt like I was hit by a train. Ciel grumbled something in his sleep and rolled over. I frowned. Why was his breathing the only thing I heard? I turned around and stared out at the hall, only to find it completely empty of bodies. Where was everybody? Why did they leave us behind? Fear slowly crept up my spine and straight through my heart. I gulped as I broke out in a cold sweat, a horrifying realization coming to me.

"Ciel, Ciel wake up, wake up right now!" I said sternly, shaking his shoulder. Ciel growled and rolled over, staring at me grumpily.

"Why'd you wake me up before we have to go?" My eyes widened in my fear and I gripped his shoulders tightly.

"Ciel! Don't you hear? No bodies' here anymore, and they left us! Come on, get up!" I rolled out from under the bed with Ciel following close behind. I froze. There was a German soldier standing at the hall way door, silently and deadly looking. Ciel gripped my arm tightly, his small hands shaking slightly.

"Ah, good of you to wake up. Come, to the showers." My heart jumped in my throat. The showers were not a good place to go…I'd heard about them once before, they would say that they're taking you to the showers, when they were really going to gas you.

I stared down at Ciel. His eyes were wide with fear, but he didn't seem to know this bit of information. I furrowed my brows and pleaded with God right there, to save our lives.

We were led down a dark hallway and past four solid, wooden doors. The fifth was made of some kind of metal. The soldier opened it for us, and told us to strip upon entry. I frowned. This wasn't sounding too hopeful. My heart pounded in my chest, my legs were shaking. There was an intense ringing in my ears as I began to panic. I glanced at Ciel, only to find him completely naked, staring straight at me with a maddening red dusting his cheeks. His eyes were wide as he stared at my own exposed body. I smiled, at least there was something in these possible last moments. I felt a tightness in my chest as I reached for his hand. Ciel's blush deepened, and he looked away shamefully.

We walked, ominously flanked by two soldiers, to the showers. It was a large room with nozzles and pipes hanging from the ceiling. A door closed behind us as we were shoved in. my heart raced in my chest, and my blood pumped wildly through my body. I glanced down at Ciel, who was staring at me strangely. He still didn't know, he didn't understand. I felt a pang in my chest and pulled him close to me in a tight hug. Ciel gasped as our naked bodies touched each other.

"Ciel…just in case I don't see you after this….I love you." Ciel looked up at me, eyes wide and cheeks as red as ripe tomatoes.

"Wh-what do you mean in case you don't see me?" but at that moment, a grunt of pipes rang through the room, and the lights switched off. My breath hitched, and I braced myself for the worst. I heard a clank right above us, and squeezed my eyes shut, pulling Ciel closer to me in a suffocating hug. I heard a swish of something liquid burst through the pipes and-

And I was never so relieved to feel water on my back in all my life.

**Sorry again for the brevity, please R&R to let me know what you thought!**

**Translations:**

**Get up bastard. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Haha! I just put up the ninth chapter of Hunger, and am now about to write the tenth….*sigh* I'm sorry about all the patchy updating and irregularness, I know it sucks and I apologize ten fold for it. BEWARE!WARNING!YAOI AHEAD mwahahahahaha . If you don't like it, then you shouldn't have opened this fanfiction in the first place! **

Sebastian's POV:

The luke-warm water trickled down my body like a sweet, sweet praise from the heavens. I looked up at the water-spewing nozzle in amazement. I lifted my hands high above my head and closed my eyes, relishing in the sensational feel of water cleansing my entire being. I rubbed my raw scalp and arms, I shivered at the cold, but it didn't matter; I could hardly feel it in my excitement.

"Sebastian? Are you okay?" I looked down at Ciel. He wasn't dead! And neither was I! I let out a sigh of relief and looked at the closed door, happily finding it windowless. I turned back to Ciel and his beautiful, wonderful ivory face and magnificent two-toned eyes. I ran my fingers through his satin hair and relished in the feel of his exposed body so close to my own. Ciel…the boy that I had named, who wouldn't speak to me for days, who, when he finally did, was near tears. The boy whom I'd told my life to, the boy that captured my heart and held it close to his own, refusing to let go.

I grabbed ceils face with both my hands cupping his cheeks, and pressed my lips to his like I never had before. His mouth was warm and wet from the water that continued to rain down on us. I closed my eyes and graced my tongue across his lips, shivering at the divine taste I discovered there. Ciel moaned into my mouth and parted his lips for me. I slipped my tongue inside and tentatively prodded his. Our tongues tangled together in a mush and I could feel the heat rising in me. I loved this boy, and I knew I did, and I would never stop.

I wrapped my arms around his shivering body and pulled him closer to me, deepening our kiss. Ciel gasped as our bodies were pressed against each other, his fingers snaking around my back and digging into my skin. I smiled against his lips and pulled away, simply to move to his neck. Ciel's heavy breathing and little gasps as I nipped at the soft white skin of his throat sent tremors of need down my spine. I knew I was hard, and it was driving me crazy, hell, _Ciel_ was driving me crazy.

"S-Sebastian!" I hungrily pressed my lips against Ciel's, silencing him. He moaned against my lips, and it was at that moment I was done. I walked forwards, pushing Ciel against the opposite wall and ravaged his lips, my hands going everywhere in a mad frenzy of _Ciel_. I was soaking up his body, his skin, his limbs, and his intoxicating scent. I grabbed his massive erection and relished in the whimper that escaped his lips as I began to work on him. I felt Ciel's fingers just barely grazing the surface of my skin, his long finger nails scraping against my tingling flesh. I moaned at the exquisite feel and savored the little gasps and moan that fell from his impossibly soft and plump lips.

Ciel thrust his hips against my hand, and his hands dug into my shoulders. I growled and trailed hungry kisses down his neck, my chest rising and falling with the heavy breathing of intense love and an undeniable, unsustainable hunger and need for Ciel, that ravished, exquisite body that was his. Ciel groaned and buried his face in the crook of my neck, panting heavily.

"F-faster!" he moaned angrily. I smirked and complied to his wishes.

"Yes, my lord.." I whispered seductively into his ear. Ciel shook his head and moaned.

"S-Sebastian, I-I-!" Ciel cried out in pleasure and threw back his head as he came into my hand. I wrapped my arms around his body and held his shaking form under the luke-warm shower. I heard him chuckle and pulled him away for a moment to look at his face. His brows were furrowed and his mouth was curved into a wicked grin. I smiled and pressed my lips against his neck.

"What do you have planned in that corrupt mind of yours, hm?" I asked breathily. Ciel chuckled darkly and trailed his hands down my back, making me shiver.

"Oh, good sir, I believe it is something you will thoroughly enjoy…" and with that he fell to his knees so he was eye-level with my nether regions. I gulped, my eyes widening. My erection twitched with need and anticipation. Ciel's bright pink little tongue flicked out and grazed the tip, his eyes boring into mine the whole time to see my reaction. I sucked in a deep, shaky breath. Ciel didn't hesitate to begin.

His lips pressed around my cock as his head bobbed back and forth. The sensation sent shivers of pleasure through my whole body. I tipped my head back and moaned, gripping Ciel's hair and forcing him down farther. The charcoal-haired boy gripped at my thighs as his tongue darted out and around and under and _oh my god I'm going to die._ The amazing pleasure coursed through my body like fire, setting it alight with heat. I thrust deeply into Ciel's throat and felt the heat got deep into my bones.

"C-Ciel! Oh my god.." I whispered hoarsely. Ciel's lips closed around me even more and I cried out as I came into his mouth. I watched with amazement as the boy swallowed it all and came up, wiping the excess of his mouth. He was grinning madly, and sheen of pink tainted his skin.

"Did you like that…Sebastian?" he asked in a voice barely above a whisper. I nodded my head and pulled him against me again, pressing my lips against his. For now, my hunger had subsided, and the luke-warm water splashing around us reminded me of what we'd come in here for in the first place. I smiled and splashed water in Ciel's face.

"Come on, better wash out that dirty mouth of yours." Ciel frowned.

"Who are you calling dirty?" he smiled splashed me back.

"_BANG!" _ The door could be heard clicking open and the nozzle stopped pouring water down on us. I immediately pulled away from Ciel, and stood up tall and silent as a woman soldier with startlingly red hair opened the door and beckoned us out of the showers. Ciel followed me out, and we were given new clothes, these ones the same as before except for the upside down pink triangle on the left chest pocket. I looked at Ciel's uniform, only to discover that his was identical to mine. My heart fell at the realization of what they had discovered. I frowned and hung my head. I had lost this battle, they knew about Ciel and I, I only hoped that they wouldn't do to him what they had done to me.

"64 and…you" I turned my head to the red-haired woman. She was speaking fluent French, without a hint of German in her voice. Why did she look so familiar to me? Those bright green eyes and pale skin, with just the hint of freckles speckling her cheeks.

"We are returning you to the cell." Ciel's face fell immediately, his shoulders shaking. He hated that cell. He hated being locked in. I knew that he wanted to be free, and being in that cabin, being outside was the closest he'd felt to freedom in as long as we'd been here.

We followed the familiar red-haired woman, ironically called Frau Red, back down the familiar, spindling halls to the white washed hall that held our empty cell. It was just as we'd left it, the mattress lying crookedly on the cold, hard floor. The woman unlocked the door and ushered us in. she didn't speak, and she didn't touch us. But as she closed and locked the bars behind me, I looked into her face and saw an air of wonder and apology in her familiar emerald eyes.

**A/N: Flashback**

"_Sebastian, this is my sister, Angelina." A girl with startling red hair, almost as red as her lovely brothers, with the same emerald eyes stared out at me from behind the bakery counter, freckles dusting her cheeks prettily… _

**A/N: back to the present **

I stared wide eyed at the woman as she walked off, there was no way…it couldn't be…but as my heart tightened in my chest, remembering what had befallen _him_, I realized that there was no way it couldn't be her…

Ciel's POV:

I stared miserably at the blank, cracked wall. I couldn't believe I was back here. The mere idea of being back in this dank, horrifying black hole made my mind spin and stomach churn with sickness. I still had all the scars to prove that I'd been here, and it was less than a week that I had been allowed to be…free.

"C-Ciel?" Sebastian's quiet voice was laced with astonishment. I turned to find him staring after the woman with the red hair, his left eye boggling and his mouth gapping open. I smiled and walked over to sit next to him.

"What? Did you suddenly discover that she's got massive boobs?" But Sebastian's face was completely serious.

"Sh-she's _his_ sister…" he said in befuddlement. A curious feeling passed through me…who was "He" and why did Sebastian know the woman? And if he did know her, why didn't she say anything to him about it?

"Who is 'He'?" I asked, unsure of whether I wanted to know the answer. Sebastian's face immediately fell, and he looked to the depressing floor of our dank cell. When Sebastian looked into my face, his eyes were filled with pain and grief, identical to the time when I woke up in our cell to him crying his heart out.

"_He_ is the reason I'm here. It was _Him_ that was slaughtered, right in front of my very eyes. A-and I think it might have been…_Her_…" Sebastian said shakily, pointing at the direction in which the woman had walked off. "_Her_ who was _His_ beloved sister." Sebastian took a deep breath and turned away from the hall, turned away from the direction in which the woman had left, the woman with the bright red hair that must have reminded him so much of this man who he had cared so deeply for.

Sebastian did not look okay. His face was very pale, his eyes were wide as saucers and _scared_, terrified. I wrapped my arms around his shaking form and engulfed his body with the warmth from mine, in a desperate attempt to dispose of whatever ailed him.

"I'm scared, Ciel. What if…what if we never get out of here?" he said quietly. His voice trembled and sounded small in the vastness of the cell. I shuddered at the thought of being stuck here forever.

"That won't happen, Sebastian…it-it _can't_ happen..." But I wasn't so sure of myself. We'd already been stuck here for nearly two years. There was still a war going on, but we had no idea of its progress. Hell, we didn't even know who was involved, really. The only hope I had was that it would be over soon, so very, very soon. But Sebastian didn't appear to have believed me, or shared the same views.

"Ciel…" he murmured, his voice a mere whisper.

"Ciel, what if we die in he-" at that moment I stopped his words by pressing my lips hard against his own. _Don't say it, Sebastian. Don't you dare!_ I thought ferociously. There was no way I was letting that happen.

I kissed Sebastian with all I had in me. I gripped the nap of his neck, my fingers gently tugging at his long, opaque hair. I bit his lips and swirled my tongue in his mouth, searching desperately for the life in him. When finally Sebastian's moans escaped his lips, I relaxed and began to enjoy the kiss. I let my lover take over and push me against the hard mattress. Sebastian's hand traveled down my body, his scorching fingers brushing against my cold skin. I moaned into his mouth and bit down again at his swollen bottom lip. Sebastian pulled away and trailed kisses down my neck, making my whole body feel like it was on fire. I gasped as his tongue sneaked out and licked my collar bone, making me shiver. Sebastian hands had an iron grip on my hips, holding them down as he pressed his body against mine. I felt trapped and lovely. He held me possessively, like he would never let anyone or anything else have me and _GOD_ it felt good. I gulped and suppressed a moan as Sebastian's wicked tongue reached out and tickled my earlobe. I grabbed Sebastian's face and pulled his lips back to mine, desperate for his taste.

Sebastian's burgundy eyes burned a wicked fire of fear and passion, his skin was slightly flushed, and his hair was disheveled. His fingers still dug into my skin and made me feel like I was being burned with his love, and his body was pressed hard against mine, but there was still the fear that this was it, these were our last moments. There was an undeniable and unshakeable fear in us both. It made us crazy with each other, it made us lust and need for the other. It was desperation, a fear of separation, and an inconsolable desire to be _free_.

I closed my eyes as Sebastian's lips descended upon my own, forceful and rough, simply needy of the one thing that was impossible to have.

My dreams were filled with monsters, monsters with guns and blue eyes and bloody red hair. They were taking something from me, their greedy, ugly clawed hands ripping and shredding what was in my arms to pieces. I cried and cried, just like a child; whatever was in my desperately clutched arms was precious. But I was too weak for the monsters with wicked blue eyes and terrifying bloody red hair. They wrenched the object and carried it away. I got a closer look, only to find I'd been griping a bloody, red, beating heart. _Je T'aime, Je T'aime, Je T'aime, Je ne vous oublierai jamais_**1.**_…_ the voice sounded eerily familiar, but laced with immense pain and boundless anguish.

When I awoke, I was sweating with fright and breathing heavily with terror. I glanced at Sebastian who was still sleeping soundly. His eyes were peaceful beneath their lids, his mouth curved up in a slight smile. His breath came regularly, and so I assumed that he was safe in the terrifying and dangerous land of the subconscious mind.

Footsteps suddenly sounded through the hall, unnecessarily loud in the silent hallway. I gulped and laid back don, pretending to sleep again. The footsteps sounded heavy and full of anger. I squeezed my eyes shut and wished desperately for them to just pass by, but, evidently, fate was not on my side. When was it ever?

"_Sie, mit den seltsamen Augen. Hinaufkommen!_" **2 **I sat up and turned around. There was an angry looking soldier with auburn hair sticking out from under his green hat. I gulped and stood up, being careful not to wake Sebastian. The soldier pointed at me and motioned for me to follow him. I turned to face Sebastian. The fear in my heart pulsed through my body. I couldn't just leave him like this…what would they do to me? There was nothing I could do to stop this man from killing us both. I saw the gun in its sheath on his waist. I knelt down beside Sebastian, who was still fast asleep despite the ruckus of the soldier. I gently brushed the raven-colored hair from his face and bent over him, pressing my lips firmly against his cheek. It had such a horrible finality to it, it made my heart bleed in my chest. I choked back a sob, afraid to let anyone hear, especially the soldier waiting outside the cell doors.

I took a deep breath and turned around, refusing to look back at Sebastian. I walked out of the cell and followed the soldier. As we passed through the door, I could hear Sebastian mumble something incoherent, and then just as the door shut tightly closed, "CIEL!"

I shivered with fear and heart ache. How could Sebastian ever forgive me? My hands were trembling, but it wasn't just from the unbearable cold of the dark, disgustingly white hallways we passed through. The soldier shoved me into a very, very familiar-looking white room. But it wasn't so white anymore. As I glanced upon the floor, I noted with unspeakable horror that there was a splotch of some kind of rusty-red color that they'd been unable to clean off the seemingly impeccable floors. I my breath caught in my throat as I saw the very same doctor that had been with my brother and I before. _Alois…_ my heart burned in my chest, and my eyes widened in fear. I was shaking uncontrollably, my blood, laced with fear and adrenaline, was coursing through my veins and making me jittery. The horrible, horrible man smiled at me without humor. His eyes were tiny and an ice-blue, almost white, color. His skin was pale and slightly wrinkled on his forehead. His hair was dark brown and sprinkled with grey, combed back against his head.

"Well, Mr. Calder. I see we meet again." Suddenly, the fear subsided slightly, and I was overcome with anger. I glared at the man who took my brother from me, and was most likely now taking me away from Sebastian.

"Don't you _dare_ speak my name!" I spat at him ferociously. The man chuckled and motioned towards the table with the leather straps. I struggled with all my might, kicking and thrashing as the soldier gripped me tightly and dragged me to the table. I screamed and shouted, refusing to go easily. But I was too weak, and they both soon had me strapped tightly to the table. I gritted my teeth and clenched my hands into tight fists. My chest rose and fell with my ragged breathing. The doctor turned for a moment to grab something from the table behind him. When he turned around, he held a large clamp and a needle in either of his hands. I gulped and my eyes widened with that fear slowly creeping back into my veins.

"Now Mr. Calder, I'm assuming you're not going to go with this so easily, just like dear, dear Sebastian. So I'm going to have to clamp your eyes wide open!" the man said almost gleefully. At these words, I remembered the bandage over one of Sebastian's eyes. I quickly squeezed my eyes shut, to no avail. Somehow the man managed to get my eyes open, and he clamped them open painfully. My eyes began to water at the force and inability to wink. I was scared now, terrified. I didn't want to feel any more pain, I didn't want to be an object of their torture anymore. I had had _enough_. But there was nothing I could do. I couldn't stop this deranged man from having his way with me. The needle, filled with some kind of blue liquid advanced towards my right eye. _The purple one…_ I thought curiously.

I screamed. It was painful. I felt like my eye was being split apart, and then my vision clouded over in blue, and I couldn't see much of anything at all. It was like I was underwater and my eye was filled with glass, but my blood was blue. I cried out in terror and agony. My heart wrenched in my chest. If this is anything close to what Sebastian had felt, I would never forgive myself. My left eyes was squeezed shut, and my arms and legs and head and torso were all restraining against the leather straps, sure to give me horrible welts later, but I didn't care. I had to get away from that needle, I had to get away from the pain, it was unbearable.

Finally, the needle was extracted from my eye. I gulped air and gratefully closed my eye as soon as the clamp was removed. The doctor removed the strap on my head and bandaged my eye, the white fabric wrapping all the way around my head. My eye throbbed painfully, and made my head feel like it was going to explode.

"Bringen ihn jetzt zuruck." **3 **The doctor said to the soldier, and I felt the straps slide away from my skin, and strong, brutal hands wrap around my body and force me to stand up. I slumped over, but picked myself back up and forced myself to stay standing tall as I was led back to my cell. I felt drowsy and achy. The cell door opened, and I saw a crouched form in the corner. The body was shaking, and suddenly my vision blurred and the room began to swirl around me. I stumbled to the side and feinted to the ground as an opaque, inky blackness clouded over my vision and unconsciousness caressed my sorry mind.

**Ohmygod, thank you to all who are being incredibly patient and still reading this. I'm finally, kind of out of my writers block. *sighs with relief* I'm sorry for not updating this as soon as I would have liked, but I promise you all another chapter next week! (Hopefully) thank you all, again, and I love you sososososo much. Let me know how you liked this chapter! P.S. read this word in another fanfiction, and it has become my new favorite word: hootenanny. Isn't that just the best word you'd ever seen? Anyways, yeah…**

**Translations: **

**I love you, I love you, I love you, I will never forget you. **

**You, with the weird eyes. Get up.**

**Bring it back now. **

**And on a side note to Briel, whose review I just read, no, I don't think it would be possible for me to abandon this, I promise. I may take a little bit to update, cause lifes gonna get crazy soon, but I hope to have this done by mid-summer, tops. (ive got crazy exams coming in soon, just as a warning) and I'm just telling you through here cause I'm assuming you were an anonymous cause I couldn't reply on the thingy mabobber…so yea… **


	11. Chapter 11

**Oh my jesus, I am so sorry that this took so long to update, and I apologize because it's kinda short, but there is some more ymumminess in it, so fear not!**

Ciel's POV:

When I awoke, my head was throbbing, like my skull had been hit with a dozen hammers. I groaned and rolled over, colliding with a mass of bare, pale skin. I slowly opened my eyes, but found I could only see out of one of them. I lay, puzzled for only a moment, as the images of events previous began to seep into my skull and plague my brain. I groaned and closed my eyes again. What in the hell did they think they were going to accomplish by blinding me?

"C-Ciel, are you awake?" I slowly nodded my head, but refused to open my eyes. God, my head fucking _hurt_!

"Are you alright?" I sighed and reached out for Sebastian, once I found his trembling form, I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.

"My head hurts. And I can't see out of my right eye…I think it's bandaged up." Sebastian sighed, and I felt his cool finger tips brush across my forehead, pushing the hair away from my face. I felt a surge of hunger burst through my body at that moment. It wasn't hunger for food. Or for Sebastian's delicate, pale body. Oh no. it was a deep, unsustainable hunger for revenge. I balled my hands into fists and grit my teeth in anger and frustration. After all they did to me. After all they did to my family. They killed my mother, killed my father, and killed my fucking brother right in front of my fucking eyes! They tortured me, and I was pretty sure they did the same to Sebastian. They hurt everyone that I loved. I thought of Lavi. He was hurt to. I wanted to be free. I wanted to escape. I needed to escape.

I turned my head towards Sebastian's breath and slowly, very slowly, cracked open my eye. Sebastian's face was dark in the lack of light, the only thing I could clearly see were his red, blood-stained eyes. They held so much love and grief and displacement. He didn't feel like he belonged to anyone, to any place. He felt alone. And it was Their fault.

"Sebastian, you are NOT alone." I saw Sebastian's eyes widen in surprise.

"H-how did you-?" I quickly sat, immediately regretting it as the pain coursed down my body, making me dizzy. I took a deep, shuddering breath, refusing to let their immoral, wrong doings of my body to bring me down. I will be the bigger man, I will get stronger, and I will conquer them and shovel the dirt into every single one of their graves.

"Because I would feel alone to, if I were in your position. But I am here to tell you, quite blatantly. You are Not alone, and I refuse to believe that you will ever think you are. Because you have me. And we will be freed from this living hell, and we will fly to our homeland like birds to a nest. I refuse to think otherwise." I felt the power in my voice, the strength building in my body with every single word, so high did I hold my head, until I believed every word I spoke.

"But-" I took that moment, his hesitation, his disbelief. To smack some sense into him.

_Slap!_ Sebastian stared at with shock, his hand gently holding his stinging cheek. I felt a brief moment of guilt, but I shook it off.

"There are no buts in this game, Sebastian. It is a war that we have to win, or we will die." And with that, I bent over and pressed my lips harshly against his, letting him feel out the passion in my words, my love for him, my love for life, and my intense, undying hunger to be free.

Sebastian moaned and pulled me on top of him, wrapping his arms around my neck. I smiled against his lips and pulled back for a moment, enjoying the whine that came from his lips.

"Why Sebastian, you are acting quite out of character. You don't seem like you would be very submissive to me. Do you see what I mean know? Don't you feel that feeling in your gut that can't be satisfied with this grotesque food or our forbidden passion?" a smirk played at my lips as I saw Sebastian's eyes light up in understanding, and my heart beat wildly in my chest when I saw my smirk mirrored on his lips, a determined glint shining in his ruby-colored eyes.

"Oh you are quite correct, My Lord." I smiled at the name and pressed my lips against his once more, ignoring the dizziness in my head, and flashed my tongue across his shell-colored mouth, relishing in the feel of my body pressed against his.

"Ik hou van jou." I murmured breathlessly as we parted. Sebastian gave me a sideways glance. He didn't understand my words, but that was perfectly fine. I could just _show_ him what I meant. I smirked and ground my hips against his, moaning at the heated feel. Sebastian growled and rolled over so it was him on top of me. I smiled.

"This is better." I said before Sebastian's lips hungrily attacked the flesh of my neck, leaving marks and kisses trailing down to my collar bone. Sebastian's tongue darted out and licked my Adam's apple, sending my brain quite fuzzy. I bucked my hips against his, needing his warmth near me. Sebastian moaned and moved his hands down to my hips, and he held me there. I furrowed my brows in frustration, I wanted the friction, _I needed it!_

"L-let go, S-Seb-ah!" I cried out as one of his hands dug into the waist line of my pants, immediately finding my member. I squeezed my eyes shut as his fingers rubbed over my hard cock. I moaned and writhed beneath him, no longer caring that I was on the bottom, or caring about anything really. All I could feel was that god damn _heat_ and the feeling of his hand all over me, that drove me fucking insane. Sebastian squeezed his hand around my cock, sliding his thumb over the slit, blurring my vision as tears of pleasure sprouted from my eyes.

"Se-Sebastian!" I cried out. My fingers dug into the skin of his back where they were sure to leave marks, but he didn't seem to care.

"Say my name." he whispered seductively into my ear. I moaned and breathed out his name with every stroke of his hand, until finally I couldn't handle it anymore. I felt the heat coil in my abdomen, and I made me wild. I bucked against Sebastian's hand, moaning.

"F-faster! I-I'm going-" I cried out and wrapped my arms tightly around Sebastian's body as my orgasm shook through my body. I moaned as the waves his me full on, and slowly, finally, I was able to let go of Sebastian's back, and fell to the ground feeling warm and full, for now. But I saw a look in Sebastian that showed no sign of finality in it whatsoever.

"It's my turn now, you little devil." I snickered and climbed onto Sebastian's lap.

"What would you lie master?" I asked breathily into Sebastian's ear, my hand traveling further and further down until I was at the waist of his pants. I gently placed a single finger in between the fabric and his skin, pulled back and let go, letting the fabric smack against his skin. Sebastian shuddered, and I knew what I was going to do. I chuckled evilly and got onto my hands and knees. Sebastian was sitting with his legs slightly spread apart. I lifted the fabric of his shirt to reveal his pale stomach and moved my head closer to his pants. I looked up to see what Sebastian's face was like. His eyes were lidded, and his breath was deep and fast, like he'd just run around for a while. I smiled and darted out my tongue, trailing it lightly across his pelvis. Sebastian moaned, and I saw his fingers clench into white fists as I continued to lap at the pale skin. Once I saw the bulge in Sebastian's pants grow considerably, I used my teeth to gently tug the pants down to his thighs. Suddenly, my hunger was back. Just the sight of his huge dick made me starving, just for him. I licked my lips and plunged in, taking it whole in my mouth and letting the tip ram into the back of my throat. I heard Sebastian gasp and shiver in pleasure as I began, full force, in deep throating his dick.

I bobbed my head up and down, swirling my tongue on the underside and around the tip, relishing in the moans that escaped Sebastian's lips. I felt his fingers entangle in my hair and pull at it, moving my head for me. I smiled inwardly and took this moment to indulge Sebastian in my secret weapon. I began to hum a tune at the time of my movements, up and down. Sebastian cried out and groaned. I slammed my head forward, swallowing as much of him as I could take. I hummed again, and Sebastian bucked his hips up to meet me.

"C-Ciel!" he moaned. I hugged Sebastian hips and clenched my fingers, humming and swirling my tongue fast and faster, until the heat grew in my mouth, and Sebastian's pants and moans grew often and whiney.

"Ciel! I-" but before he could finish his sentence, a bitter liquid erupted into my mouth. I quickly swallowed as much as I could, and licked up the rest. I pulled away and helped Sebastian put his pants back on. He sighed and looked me straight in the eye, his gaze very serious and soft.

"You missed a spot." He murmured, and rubbed a thumb across my cheek, taking it back to reveal a white liquid. I smiled and lapped it up, enjoying the shiver that went through Sebastian's body.

"Hmmm. I wonder, Sebastian. If they planned on this happening when they decided to put us in the same cell." Sebastian smiled and pulled me down onto our sorry excuse of a bed.

"If they suspected for a minute any of what we just did, we would both be dead." I smiled weakly and nuzzled my face into Sebastian's shoulder.

"Shut up." Sebastian smiled.

"Je T'aime." I still didn't understand what that meant, but I liked to think it meant, "I love you."

My dreams were plagued by horrible nightmares again, always the same with the horrible red monsters taking away the bleeding heart, ripping it from my arms. I woke up sweating and shaking in fear. I bit my lip and shook my head. _No. I can't be afraid. I have to be strong and Fearless._

"Steh auf!" I sat up, waking Sebastian in the process, my head wiping around to the sound of the voice. It was the woman with the Red hair again. I groaned and stood up, wishing desperately that I could just stay in Sebastian's warm arms.

"Ciel…" Sebastian's voice was stern and afraid, not wanting to let me go, but fearing the woman with the gun at her hip.

"Don't worry. He will be back." The woman replied curtly, glaring at us both. Sebastian stared at her for a moment, but finally took my hand in his and gently kissed my finger tips. I blushed and pressed my fingers against his lips.

"I'll be back, I promise. I'm not leaving you alone." Sebastian nodded and stood with me. The woman stared at us strangely. As I began to walk out of our cell, Sebastian smacked my butt. I turned and glared at him. He was smiling madly.

"It's my present for being good for letting you go."

The woman's eyes were wide and struck with a sick kind of horror, one I knew well. I grinned and finally was out of the cell, and watched as the door slammed shut behind me, trapping Sebastian behind its bars. I smiled sadly as Sebastian walked over to the bars, each of his hands gripping tightly to a bar.

"Je T'aime, Ciel. I'll be waiting for you." I nodded my head and followed the cold woman out of our hall and down two others, the dread thick in my stomach. I knew what they were going to do to me, and I winced a little bit, just at the thought. But I would fight against them with all my might, clinging desperately to that small ounce of freedom I had; revenge.

Sebastian's POV:

I watched sadly as the familiar woman took Ciel away from me. It was strange. He should have been almost eighteen or nineteen by now, and he still wasn't taller than that woman, but he certainly was getting close. I'll have to tease him about it when he gets back. _Because he WILL be back…_ I sighed and clenched my fingers into fists, my fingernails digging into my palms angrily. Ciel…he was beautiful. When he woke up…something had changed in him, but I'm not quite sure what. There was a fierceness in his eyes that hadn't been there before, a determination.

His words and speech were magnetic, bringing me to him like a moth to a flame. They influenced my thoughts, made me realize a deep and unsustainable hunger that I had never noticed was there before. He was true, completely correct in every way.

He was as stubborn as a brick, and I knew that no matter what, this couldn't end well.

**Hey guys, sorry no translations today im grounded and writing this as fast as I can before my mom realizes im on the cpu. so let me know whatcha think. Again, sorry it's a bit short. Hope you liked it!**


	12. Please dont kill me ch12

**HOLY SHIT I AM SO SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IN SO FUCKING LONG, I PROMISE TO TRY TO DO BETTER! I SWEAR IT! Listening to some sick awesome dub step to write this right now…so intense… WARNING: this chapter WILL be depressing…. Suggested listening: "Somebody I used to know"-Walk off the earth**

Ciel's POV:

For the first time since I can remember, I walked into that wretched room without any fear in my eyes, with determination in my heart, and strength running like fire through my veins.

"_Get in and lie on the table."_ The German soldier spoke, and I hated that I understood his ugly words. I followed his command without struggle, and laid on the cold, hard table, and let him strap me into it. The doctor came in and I remained as silent as I could. I let my eyes follow him everywhere, refusing to utter even a whisper from my lips. When he wheeled around, needle in hand, I stared him dead in his eye. I refused to look away, even as my breath caught in my throat and my heart beater faster with fear and anticipation of pain. I observed with satisfaction as the doctor's lip twitched in irritation and confusion. I took a shaky breath and let it out slowly, preparing myself for the pain that was bound to surface at any moment. This was my plan. They had used my brother and the immense pain to fuck with me emotionally, mentally, and physically. And by staying as silent as I possibly could, I would fuck with them right back.

"Now administering the dye." The doctor said quietly. It was the only sound I could hear in the room besides my own breathing and frantic heartbeat. I kept my eyes wide open until the needle entered my right eye and the pain seeped into my skull spreading to the very nether regions of my head. I cried out, but bit my lip to refrain from making any more noise. I refused to let them have the satisfaction of hearing my cries of pain and distress.

Once the needle had finally left my eye, the doctor gingerly wrapped a bandage around my head. I took a breath and closed both my eyes, trying to register the pain and calm myself down. It felt like an intense burning directly on my eye. It was shit painful. My heart thumped in my chest with anticipation as the leather bounds were unstrapped from around my arms, legs, and middle. As soon as I was free, I opened my eye and stood up quite abruptly. The sudden movement made me sway for just a moment, but I caught myself on the table and stood as straight and tall as I could. I still wasn't very tall at all, but I held my head high and kept my dignity straight on my face. The German soldier stared quizzically at the doctor, who shrugged his shoulders as I was shoved out the white door and into the white hallway. I walked with pride in my steps and a strength building in my chest. This was how I rebelled; this was how I bought my freedom. Little by little, I was deferring from how they expected me to act, resulting in my independence of brainwash and the expectations of cries and wails and screams that they were so used to.

As we approached my cell, darkness spotted through my vision, and I knew that the pain was beginning to get to me. I took another deep breath, willing myself to quicken my pace and get into my cell as soon as I could. I felt dizzy and the hallway was swaying, but the bars to my "home" were being opened in front of me, and Sebastian was there to catch me as I finally allowed the blackness to take over my mind and pull me under.

Sebastian's POV:

I knew they were coming soon. While Ciel had been gone, the one named Red whom I recognized as the sister of Him, had told me with a steely look in her rust-colored eyes. My heart squeezed in my chest as I held his sleeping form close to my own. I only hoped that I had enough time to convey to him the true feelings deep in my being. He still didn't understand those words, nor did I understand his. But that was all I had left, hope. Hope that he would live on, hope that he would make it out of this hell alive, hope that he could find love after this horrible mess was over. Hope that I would always occupy someplace in his heart, hope that even after I was gone, he wouldn't forget me and what he did to brighten my bleak and dark existence.

Ciel's POV:

I awoke with a pain deep in my chest and a dull ache in my head, behind my eyes. My eye opened to an eerie and rare ray of sunlight. Where it had sprouted from I had no idea, but it was cast over the boy whom I had grown so fondly of in an angelic form. Tears were glistening in the corners of his burgundy eyes, and the pure, yellow light filmed in from its unknown source and glistened off his jet-black hair. He truly looked like an angel; a sad, heart-broken angel. I couldn't figure out why he was so sad, but I felt it to. There was some kind of finality in the air, like our time together was limited. I didn't know why it coursed through the air like oxygen, or why I felt it weighing on me so heavily, but it did and it _hurt_.

"S-Sebastian…you're crying…" I murmured as I lifted a small thumb to brush them away from his perfect, dirty face. Sebastian smiled sadly and took my hand in his own, placing my palm across his cold, tear-streaked cheek.

"I'm sorry." He whispered back painfully. I felt my chest constrict at his words, so short and simple, but filled with thousands upon thousands of feeling and emotion. I shuddered and closed my eyes again, feeling my own tears begin to form. I couldn't let him see me cry, I had to be strong and face this head on. Nothing could keep us apart forever.

I opened my eye again as his lips descended upon mine in a tender, blissful kiss that barely graced my skin. I breathed heavily against his face and gently flicked my tongue against his lips, just to get the mere taste of him. I pulled Sebastian onto my body as he wrapped his arms tightly around me, holding us together in a desperate attempt to banish the dread that we both could feel permeating the air. I sighed and closed my eyes against his chest, relishing in his warmth and closeness. He held me tight to him and gently stroked my hair. After a while, I felt his chest shake with silent sobs in his thought that I had fallen asleep. But it was far from this fact as I realized that he wasn't nearly as strong as he led me on to believe.

We were sitting across from one another on the thin mattress we had used for near three years, now. I played with Sebastian's hands, curling my fingers around his again and again as we told stories about our past, what little we hadn't already shared.

"My father used to own a bakery that was famous all over our little neighborhood. We sold the best pastries and only the freshest bread. Walking in there was always like a dream; the smell that enhanced the air, the pleasant sunlight that gleamed through the bay windows at the front of the shop. I wonder if it's still up." Sebastian looked up from our hands and smiled at me.

"If...I mean, when we get out of here, I want to take you there Ciel. I want you to taste the best chocolate filled croissant you've ever had." I smiled back at him, my stomach grumbling just at the thought of the delicious pastry.

"What's it called?" Sebastian's eyes lit up at my interest, giving a slight pinkish color to his usually pale cheeks.

"Celeste, it means "heavenly"." I nodded my head. Heavenly…why did that sound familiar?

"_I think I will call you Ciel. It means, "From Heaven" in French." _I gasped a little and closed my eyes, remembering the first time I met Sebastian, when he seemed so foreign and strange in my eyes.

"S-Sebastian…I think I will tell you my true name, the name I was born with I mean." Sebastian shifted in his position, nodding his head and waiting patiently. God. I hadn't said my own name in so long…would I even be able to remember it? Why did I feel like it would sound like a foreign tongue the moment I spoke it?

"M-My name is…" I furrowed my brows in frustration. Why couldn't I say it? Why was it so difficult? I took a deep, shuddery breath and let it out very slowly.

"C-Cal…Calder…Calder Phantomh-hive." I whispered stutteringly. The horror and grief took me all in one fell swoop, at just the sound of my own name. The same name I shared with Alois, my mother, and my father. It was the same name that Alois had called out so many times as he was cut to pieces and slowly rotting from the inside out. I shuddered as the grief racked through me, pulling at my chest and threatening to rip me apart. It was the same name that Alois had whispered to me in his last moments of life, using the last of his breath to call out my _name_ one, last, time. I gripped my fingers tightly together, my hands shaking uncontrollably. This was not good. I had to be strong. Why was I falling apart? How could something as meaningless as a name have such a harsh affect on me? What had I done to myself? Why was it so painful?

"And I'll find Strength in pain, and I'll change my ways, I'll know my name as it's called again…" I gasped, the realization hitting me like a sack of bricks. Alois. Oh my dear, dear brother, _Alois!_ You didn't want me to sing that for you! You wanted me to…to…to _remember you._

I began to shake even more, my eyes growing incredibly wide. I looked up at Sebastian with tear-streaked cheeks. His eyes were wide with surprise and worry.

"I will _Always_ remember you, I will _never_ forget you." I whispered forcefully to him. Sebastian's eyes widened even further and glossed over with tears.

"There's…there's no way you could have…could have _known_." He whispered, voice shaking. I shook my head quickly.

"I didn't know, Sebastian. I didn't know at all. Not until now. But I will tell you now. I _have _to tell you, or I will die a very, very unhappy boy." I whispered, a smile playing sadly on my lips.

"Sebastian, Ik hou van je met heel mijn hart." And with that, I kissed him on the lips, my brows furrowed deeply in concentration, as I desperately conveyed to him the message I had bottled up deep inside me, in hopes that he would understand.

I pulled away from his lips, looked into his eyes and saw that they were filled with tears. I quickly kissed them away and trailed my lips down his neck and after every kiss I murmured "ik hou van je, Ik hou van je…" over and over, until I had no breath left in me and lips were swollen and I couldn't think straight from my concentration. I pulled away for good, breathing heavily, and looked directly into his eyes, those eyes that were such a deep, deep red color. He said nothing, only stared at me with a gaze of pure bliss and undying love.

"Ik hou van je." He whispered to me, his words barely audible as they left his bright red lips. I gasped and clutched as his chest with my fingers, grinning madly as my heart swelled. He understood me, he knew, _he knew_! I sighed with relief and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Thank you." I murmured quietly to him." Sebastian shifted his head up and down in acknowledgement.

"Je T'aime." He whispered into my ear. I pulled back a bit so I could look Sebastian in the face.

"What?" I asked, my brows furrowed. Sebastian sighed and rolled his eyes. He stared straight at me, his gaze intensified by the intimidating red of his eyes.

"Je T'aime." He said, and pressed his lips against mine. I took a surprised breath of air at his sudden action, but no sooner had he kissed me, was he not. His mouth was close to my ear, his breath tickling my neck.

"My Lord." I shivered, remembering the last time he had spoken in that manner. But I closed my eyes again, thinking about what he said… "Je T'aime…kiss…my…lord…" my eyes widened as the words that I had so terribly not known finally took anchor in my head, and squeezed Sebastian's shoulders tightly, a wild grin splitting across my face.

"Je T'aime, Sebastian! _I love you._"

The cell, quite suddenly, was not as dull as it had been just moments before. I closed my eyes and laid across Sebastian's bony chest. _Thank you Alois. _

I awoke to the sound of many booted footsteps stomping down the hall, and German voices speaking harshly. I looked up from where I laid in Sebastian's arms, and was alarmed to see four German soldiers, all yielding little hand guns run up to our cell and unlock the door, pointing and shoving and pulling. I was so very confused, and through all the commotion, I gripped tightly to Sebastian's hand-until it was quite forcefully ripped away. I stared up in shock at the monster, only to find that weird Red woman standing in front of me, her gaze as cold as ice. My stare slowly drifted to that of Sebastian, who was being held back by two of the soldiers, and was kicking and yelling curses in French. My eyes widened at the scene before me. What were they doing to Sebastian? What was going on? Why were they here?

I felt strong arms tugging me back, but I struggled out of their hold and ran to Sebastian, gripping at the hands that bound him.

"Sebastian! What is going on?" I cried out desperately as another pair of arms grabbed hold of me and pulled me away from my lover. But all I got in response was a strange, brief look in my general direction that showed only two emotions, in complete contrast of each other.

"Ik hou van je, Ciel. Ik hou van je." He whispered as his face darkened considerably. The grief that poured from his mouth in those words shook me to the very bone. I froze in my place and watched with horror as they began to shove Sebastian out of our cell, kicking and screaming.

_Nonononononononononononono._ "NO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, wrecking my throat. Sebastian's head whipped around, eyes filled with sadness. I ran to the bars, which were already locked, and reached desperately to Sebastian, the one that got me through the darkest of days, the one that brought me out of my silence, the one who taught me to see the light and have hope that one day, someday, I would finally be _free_.

"SEBASTIAN!" I screamed again, tears streaming down my face, my heart clenching in my chest. They were taking him away from me! Why were they doing that? Sebastian's hand reached out towards mine, stretching desperately for one last moment of physical contact. I swiped my hand across his, the tips of our fingers just barely brushing for the very last time. My heart stopped in my chest as I watched his grow further and further away.

"Don't forget me Ciel! CIEL! Ciel! Ik hou van je, I love you I love you I Love You! Remember me, Ciel, for as long as you can, do it, or I will die forever. Do you promise me Ciel? Ciel?" My entire body was shaking, my body was crippling beneath me and I fell to my knees in weakness.

"I-I promise!" I called out to him, my voice as loud as I could speak. I wanted so badly to see his face, to touch him, to kiss him, to love him just one last time, but he was behind that stupid, horrible, terrible white door before I could utter another word.

**I am so fucking sorry that I haven't updated until now. I'm really sorry that it's kinda short, and really fucking sad, but don't worry. I would be the evil bitch to kill him off, he's to freaking sexy, my lovelies, don't worry…it is all a part of my fabulous plot. *pleasedontkillme*….R&R to let me know what ya think! **

**KTHANKSBYE-Zexionienzo**


	13. The Escape holycrapimsorry

**Holy crap, I am beyond sorry at how long it took me to update this, it is horrible, and I'm sorry. I'm a lazy little asshole. But I finally got it out! :D anyways. Since we are nearing the end here (only one more chapter left!) I decided to set out a little contest. I've seen other fics do this, and I was curious to see if it would work. With this new cover thingy on fanfiction, I'm starting a contest for the cover of Hunger. Rules: has to have the title on it, no M rated smut please (sorry!) annnnd has to be sent via pm. You can send it in a link, or anything. I'm not really sure how this will turn out, I'm just curious. Anyways, enough of my blabbering here ya go, my lovelies!:**

I was nothing. The blackness consumed my soul and evaporated any feelings I ever had. The cold seeped straight through my bones, though my entire body, and straight through my chest, like wind blowing through the windows of an empty house; the only indication that anyone had ever been there being papers filled with meaningless words strewn across the barren floor.

My name is Ciel Calder Phantomhive. This is the name that I have taken, and will keep until the day I die, which feels as if it is approaching even sooner than I had originally anticipated. The emptiness that expanded through my body ate away at any thoughts I could comprehend. The only thing that ran through my empty mind was the fact that He was gone.

I looked around the small confines of my empty cell, the dirty floor, the filthy gray walls, the little mattress barely big enough for one person, let alone two, that I refused to lie upon because He had lain there. I shrunk further into the darkest depths of my corner and shivered as I wrapped my arms around my shoulders. There was absolutely nothing I could do to keep warm. I didn't remember it being this cold before He left. Is it winter? Is that why it's so cold? A door bangs shut down the hall, but the sound is muffled by the turmoil in my broken head. I hear a voice speaking, but I don't turn to it, or understand what its saying.

"CIEL!" I jump and finally turn to the woman in Red. Her eyes are fierce and gleaming and alive, her lips puffy and moist. Her skin is glistening with sweat and her chest raises and falls as if she's been running. I suddenly remember this woman, and how she held me back as He was taken away. She took Him away from me, and for that I could never forgive her.

Rage built in my chest like a wild fire, the first feeling I'd felt since He was gone. I stood bolt right up and ran over to the bars separating her from me.

"What the fuck do you want, you horrible wretch?" I snarled, baring my teeth like an animal. The woman seemed unfazed by my hostility, but that did not make me back down.

"I've come to help you." She said softly in my native tongue. Help me? This bitch wanted to help me? Well, that is a first. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, folding my arms across my chest and turned from her.

"You want to help me? YOU of all people in this damn piece of shit?" I turned on her again, finger pointing at her accusingly, body shaking with an insurmountable amount of rage I had not known I confined.

"Do you have even the slightest inkling of what the fuck you did to me? What you did to HIM?" I shouted, pointing my finger down the hall that I had last seen Him. The woman frowned.

"Yes, I know. We took away your beloved sex toy. Now do you want to get out of here or not you little brat?" I scowled at this woman with hurt and anger. She destroyed any thought I had of escape.

"I don't want to see the outside world again if I know that He isn't there. It would be pointless. He was the only thing I had left to live for. Everyone else I ever cared about was killed by You." I felt my heart clench at those words. My resolve was starting to falter. I was going to die in this horrible place; same as my brother, same as Him. There was nothing to be done about it.

Suddenly, I felt a hand at my throat, and looked with mild curiosity at the woman in Red, whose long fingers clutched my pale, sickly neck with contempt.

"Now you listen here. I don't care if you are the scum of the earth, and quite honestly I have no idea what He saw in you, but He saw something, and that is all it takes." The woman's hold grew weaker with every word she uttered through those red-painted lips.

"I had a brother. My brother was the reason that He was sent here, and here my brother died." I stared at the woman, whose eyes were now filling with clear tears, and felt a strange feeling burn in my chest. I didn't like it one bit, but it was there none the less.

"He watched my brother be slaughtered, and He lived through that pain. He was so strong, and he was so lost. Until you came along. And then he found another reason to be alive again, he found another reason to be strong and to escape. Now, I am going to tell you this you little twat," the woman's voice held that familiar bite to it as she addressed me once again.

"Sebastian is not dead. He is very much alive, and he is very much free."

I suddenly felt a strong wind blow against me, shattering my broken wall and blaring through. But it came to a stop as soon as it touched my heart. The window that had once been brokenly open, with shattered glass and nothing behind it to hold it up, was now strong and sturdy and closed. Behind the repaired glass was a room filled with light, the walls were painted blue, a wooden table with a green cloth draped across it lying in the center. Two chairs sat at the table, in one was a rose and in the other was a bird. The bird lifted its wings with a magnificent glory unlike anything I had ever seen, and lifted itself high into the air. In one felt swoop, the bird graced down to capture the rose in its beak, and flew off into the depths of the unknown world deep into my heart.

"What do you mean He's alive? I-I saw you all take him away!" my voice shook as I spoke, signaling that regretful weakness I knew I possessed. Now this woman smiled, her blood-red lips curving up against her cheeks, creasing her perfect, white skin.

"I saved him, just as I am going to save you, Ciel. It is how I will repent for the sins I have committed while in this deranged mind set. My brother died in here because he was in love with Sebastian, and I refuse to let you die here for the same reasons. Will you trust me and let me help you?" The kindness in her voice and in her eyes was sincere, and for the first time since I had been here, I felt like I could trust someone who was wearing that pitiful grey uniform.

So, with trembling hands I nodded my head, wishing with all my heart that I was making the right decision. The mere thought of seeing Sebastian again, however impossible it seemed, was enough to send my heart racing erratically. What else did I have to live for? Everyone else I had ever cared about was gone, dead, unknown to the world. I was a nobody in the world without Sebastian; I had no meaning left to me.

"Then come on, we don't have much time left until dawn. At this point in time, I am the only Guard on duty. Let's get out of here." I nodded and slipped out of the barred door. Looking back one last time at the horrible cell that had, for lack of a better term, been my "Home" for the past three years, I felt mixed feelings stirring around in my chest. It was where I met Sebastian, where I had died, where I had lived again.

The cement floor was cold under my bare, raw feet. Frou Red's hand gripped my own tightly as we walked quickly and efficiently down a maze of hallways and rooms and doors, all that treacherous white color. Past some of the doors, I heard screams of torture and cries of pain. I wished desperately that I could not hear them, but they were stuck in my mind, and would be for as long as I could remember. My heart was slamming against my ribs so hard I was sure it would burst past the bone and skin and sink to the floor. Frou Red turned a sharp corner that ended in a white room covered in strange instruments. As I looked around, I noticed chains hanging from the ceiling and walls dripping in blood, a metal table as red as the color of Frou's hair, and a clean, sparkling _white_ floor. I began to tremble as the fear gripped like a vice to my veins. It had been a trap, I knew it, she was just going to torture me and send me to the fiery pits of hell where I deserved to go long, long ago.

But as I backed up slowly to the wall to escape the grasp of Frou Red, she pulled me with a force of steel as we traveled across the room and through a wooden door that I hadn't noticed before. On the other side of this door was a sight I thought I would never, ever see again. I starred, wide eyed at the starry sky above me. The full, glistening moon was shinning down on me like a beacon from heaven, bathing me in its warm light. I felt my hand slip from Frou Red's grasp as I fell to the ground on my knees in amazement. Something wet was falling down my cheeks as I raised my hands high to the heavens, a new-found torch burning deep in my chest, raising me with hope. How could such a beautiful, beautiful thing ever exist in this horrific world?

It was at that moment that it hit me. The world was cruel, humans were cruel. Men and women, children and adults alike were cruel and always would be. God didn't make man immortal; he made us weak, with the death sentence hanging over our heads ever since the moment we are born. But in all that cruelty, exists something magical and astounding. I looked up at Frou Red, whose own eyes were watering slightly. There is something so simple and magnificent about the light of the moon. It illuminates the world and erases all lies, it holds in its powerful brilliance that fantastic amount of greatness needed in this horrifying living hell.

I came back to reality with the sound of pigs making noise and shuffling about. I looked around to find myself in a dirty pig-pen. _The bloody room_…. It had been a butchering room. I stood and wiped off my petty clothing to the best of my ability and looked back up at Frou Red. She held a finger to her lips to silence me, and quickly led me through the outer gates of the wooden pen and out into the middle of a field.

"**Wer geht Da?**" A harsh light came at us from the right and I froze. My heart was, once again, pounding like a million hammers in my chest. My eyes were wide and my whole body trembling with fright as I watched a man yielding a large gun run over to us. Frou Red stood up straight and saluted the soldier.

"I am taking this scum to the chambers; he attempted escape from the last shipment." She spoke with acidity to the man, gripping my arm painfully tight. The man gave her a curious look before spitting at my feet and nodding, walking off back into the darkness. The woman holding me shivered and rolled her shoulders, letting go of my arm.

"Sorry." She whispered, and we were off again. I gulped, still quaking in fear. That was too close, too close too close. I shook my head and followed Frou Red into the dark, omniscient forest.

We ran through the forest for what felt like hours. I could feel my bare feet being scrapped and splintered as we ran through the thick brush past the trees. I was cold to the bone, but it wasn't anything I hadn't experienced before, and the icy wind brushing past my cheek was welcomed against my stale, pale skin. Finally, we came to a clearing in the woods. All around me were tall, green pines and bushy greenery. In the middle of the clearing was a small, run down shack. It hardly looked livable, but it was a shelter against the wind. Frou Red ducked inside and ushered me in behind her.

"In here there is food, clean clothing, some blankets and water. I must go back to the camp; you are far away from there. They won't find you. No one will find you. I am the only one that knows of this place. I will be back in this night to transfer you elsewhere. Just get cleaned up and warm here." And with those words, she left, and I alone again. I looked, aghast, at the jewels before me. There was a loaf of rich French bread and a block of fresh cheese, two apples, and a small pastry. I wondered at the pastry. Why would I need such a delicacy? Before I did anything I bathed myself as clean as I could with the small cloth and bucket of cold water. Then I dressed and grabbed the loaf of bread and cheese and headed outside.

After being stuck in the confines of my cell, after not breathing fresh air for so long, this all seemed like such a dream. I sat on a small boulder next to the shack with my knees pulled up to my chest and a handful of bread and cheese in my mouth. The tears had started up again, I just couldn't help it. I glared at the food in front of me in amazement.

"What _are_ you?" I whispered in wonder. Never before in my life had something as simple as bread and cheese tasted _so good_. What I had before me was a feast for kings, after just two handfuls I was fuller than I had been since before the war. I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it tightly about my shoulders as my mind began to wander.

Had Sebastian sat in this very spot? Slept against this very blanket? I shuddered at just the thought, my heart aching desperately in my chest. I missed him so much. I thought he'd been dead, and that had been enough reason for me to stop caring. But then Frou Red told me it'd all been lies, and that dangerous feeling that warmed up my whole being, made my body shiver with delight was back. _Hope_. My, how deadly it could be.

I looked to the slowly brightening sky and smiled the feeling foreign on my cheeks. The sky was suddenly illuminated by brilliant yellows and reds and pinks, making me smile even wider.

This was my first sunrise in over three years.

**Yay! I'm so happy I finally got that out! Translations: "Wer geht da?" = Who goes there? Holy crap muffins! Allllsssssssssssssso: I'm sorry this chapter is so short! I just really wanted to get it out and I had it set in my mind exactly how the next chapter is going to be, it's what this whole fic has been based off pretty much. Thank you all for reading! Please R&R to let me know what you think!**


	14. Mon Pere Celeste :'

**Holy. Crap. I have never written so much, so fast before. I think this is my longest chapter ever! I wanted to make it long for you guys because you're awesome, and I love you all so much. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and a special thanks to Lieutenant of the BVB army, QueenEAC, and Boccochan832 for your reviews/pms on chapter thirteen. I really loved them! And thank you to everybody who has stuck with this. Ohmyjesus, I am being so emotional right now. I can't believe this is ending! I'm filled with an equal amount of happiness and sadness. Well. I'll stop blabbing now, hope you enjoy this last installment of: Hunger**

**Zexionienzo**

The year was 1943, meaning that I was nineteen years old, my young adult years flushed down the drain, and my innocence stripped from me. I was an orphan, with no living family left. Frou Red, who had demanded I call her Angelina after she helped me escape _that_ place, helped me settle in a home on the outskirts of Reims, France. It was somewhere between Strausburg and Paris, and in the small stone house resided the owners, two German women with hearts as warm as melted butter. As soon as I entered the house, Frou Red right behind me, I was assaulted with hugs and kisses all over my face. It was like I was eight years old again and visiting my Aunt Jean's home.

"Darling, _mien Kind_! Come in, oh you are so skinny! Just bones and skin! Don't worry _wenig engel_, we will make you big and strong again, like a lion!" The women's round red faces chuckled cheerily as they led me inside.

"He can stay anywhere except the white room." Angelina said softly before taking her leave. I wondered why she said that. What would a white room have to do with anything?

It was at the kind, full hands of these two women, Oma and Mutti as they told me to call them that I recuperated. They fed me so much food I thought I would burst, told me great stories about their young lives and the adventures they had, and let me help around the house to keep my mind from wandering too far. There were three other boys and two girls living with us. There was Alfonse from Paris, Josiah and Abraham, brothers from Poland, Kizzy from Romania, and Gertrude from Germany. The girls didn't ever talk much, and none of us ever talked about how we got here, why we escaped, and why we were taken from our families. For us, it no longer mattered; we just wanted to be free.

Not being in the presence of so many people for such a long time took some getting used to. Alfonse was a chatter box, and he reminded me of Aloise the way he would strut around the house doing his chores. For the first week I was at Oma and Mutti's place, I hardly spoke a word to anybody. Slowly I warmed up, and Kizzy and I began teaching each other words from our native tongue. It was a fun game to play; we would sit across from each other and exchange insulting or praising phrases, laughing at each other's pronunciation or tone as we spoke the foreign words. It was like we were children playing in a school yard again, these little things gave us back some of the sanity we'd lost while we were beaten and tortured for too many years.

One day, when Oma and Mutti were arguing about what to cook for dinner, and everybody was busy, I decided to go exploring around the house. It was small, but I had never really gone farther than my own room, the kitchen, or the yard. I realized after a while what Angelina must've meant about the "white room"; the room I shared with Alfonse was called the "blue room" due to its decoration in entirely blue. The kitchen was the "pink room" Josiah and Abraham's room the "green room" and Kizzy and Gertrude's room the "orange room". I walked cautiously up the wooden stairs and down the picture-frame lined hall. Kizzy and Gertrude's room was at the top of the stairs, and down the hallway were two more rooms whose doors were closed directly across from each others'. I took to the door on the left first. Its knob opened smoothly and inside I discovered what must've been the "red room". All the furniture, from the closet door to the bed to the rug were all varying shades of red. It was a rich, seamless color plastered to the walls that caught my eye. I quietly walked my way to the wall at the far end of the room and next to a window overlooking the bright, green backyard. My hand slipped from my side to rest against the walls cool, smooth surface and I began trembling. There was something itching at the back of my mind. I closed my eyes and leaned, shivering against the wall. Images began dancing behind my closed lids. Sebastian staring at me as we lay together, his eyes boring into mine when we "showered", his beautiful, bright eyes overflowing with tears as he was taken down the hall and away from me.

I felt my own eyes betray me as hot tears left wet stains down my cheeks. I quickly opened my eyes and ran out of the room, shutting the door closed behind me and taking a deep, shaky breath. I shook my head and wiped the tear-streaks away. I had to find him. What if he thought I was dead? What if he'd moved on and found someone else that he could lay with, hold hands, kiss…

No. no, I couldn't think about that. I had to have faith and hope that Sebastian was still out there, rebuilding his life and searching for me as desperately as I wished I could search for him.

I took another deep breath to clear my head and turned the knob of the second door before me. This knob was more difficult to open than the other had; it was slightly rusty and the hinges creaked as the door slid open noisily. I closed my eyes and walked into the room, the door shutting behind me suddenly startling me into opening my eyes. As my lids flew open, I regretted ever going on this little "adventure". The walls hadn't been painted or covered in wall paper; there were no windows, the only light coming from a disgusting, horrifying _white_ lamp in the far corner on a _white_ rug, covering the floor from wall to wall. There was a _white _bookshelf and a _white_ chest and a _white_ drawer and on the far side of the room a bed with _white _posts, and _white_ sheets and blankets and _white_ pillows. I backed up slowly against the door as my head began spinning. My palms were wet with sweat, and my entire body was quacking in fear. This must be the "white room" that I had been so forbidden from entering.

I closed my eyes, I had to get away from that horrid absence of color, but the image of the room was burned into my mind. And as I looked around and noticed more white, the plain walls morphed into tiled ones, and the floor became cold concrete beneath my suddenly bare, frozen feet. The bed was now a long metal table with brown leather straps, holding my brother strapped down. I tried to stop it. I tried to get away. I clawed at the door, but it wouldn't open. It was locked shut.

"NO! LET ME OUT! God, oh God, no…please, no!" I cried and cried as I struggled to leave the room. Its white confines had me by the neck, forcing me to watch as the miserably horrid scene played like a sick, demented theater performance before me. I was just the audience, watching with gripping fear violently running through my veins, unable to do a thing to stop the actors before me. The blade shined in the magnificent spotlight, running down my brother's body as if taunting me, tempting me to hope that it wouldn't protrude. I whimpered and tried shielding my eyes from the scene, but even behind closed lids, it was stuck in my mind and would not end until the fateful close. But suddenly, everything went black and my brother was no longer on the metal table. I sighed with relief, thinking it was over until I realized I couldn't move. I frantically pulled and clawed at my arms and ankles, but it was of no use. This time, it was _me_ under the horrible white light with the horrible, doctor and the terrifying knife in this sick, sick performance, with me as the leading actor. The knife came closer and closer to me, its sharp, horrifying blade gleaming in the light. And I was crying, tears streaming down my face.

"No! PLEASE NO! Oh god, oh GOD! Don't- DON'T!" I froze in terror as the blade touched my skin, barely leaving a scratch. Just as it had done to my brother's body, it was drawn across my stomach without penetrating the skin. Then, slowly, very terrifyingly slow, the blade came to a stop in the middle of my chest, and plunged deep, deep into my-

"!" I screamed my head off. I screamed and screamed and thrashed and clawed at my constraints. I couldn't take it anymore; my brain was going fuzzy, mindless with terror as the blade plunged again and again into my body, the pain coursing through my veins like fire.

And then, just as suddenly as it started, it all went away. My screams stopped, reduced to muffled whimpers and cries, my whole body shuddering and trembling terribly. Big, strong fluffy arms surrounded me and rocked me back and forth. A loud, calming voice shooshed in my ear and whispered sweet, calming words. I didn't have a clue what they were, as they were in German, and the only words in German I knew were "Shut up" or "Move faster, pig". I looked curiously up at this strange, wonderful persons face. It was Oma. Mutti was behind her, shooshing the other kids and sending them down stairs. I looked over my shoulder at the door to _That_ room and shivered, burying my face in Oma's large, soft chest as a second round of sobs racked my body.

"Shhhhh, mien engel, shhhh. Be calm; don't let the devils of your past revive in your future. Let them die away now. Shhhh." It was that night that I cried myself to sleep in Oma's arms, and was laid to rest in my beautiful, beautiful "blue room". Blue. I liked that color. It was nice.

I slept for a day and a half without opening my eyes or stirring once. Oma said it was "To get the evil spirits out of me". When I awoke, Alfonse was sitting on his bed across from mine. I slowly sat up and stared at him with my one good eye. The boy smiled sadly at me.

"You sleep good?" I laughed at that. Sleep good? Never. I didn't think I would ever get to sleep well again after that.

I was grateful to the others, as they didn't question or mention anything about my screaming fit. All but Alfonse _did_ tend to avoid me a bit though, giving me curious looks as I entered the room. I didn't mind though, not if I didn't have to talk or think about IT.

Days passed, and then weeks. I was growing restless. My mind kept wandering to Sebastian, until he was constantly on my mind, the only thing I could think about. I went to Oma about it.

"Oma, might I ask you something?" the large woman turned and smiled brightly from her cooking. It seemed like Oma and Mutti were always cooking, making food for their "wenig engels".

"Anything, darling." I smiled lightly and sat on a stool at the kitchen table.

"I…I think I need to look for…for _Him_." I said quietly. I still hadn't spoken His name since the last time I'd seen Him. Oma chuckled and stirred her broth.

"That, my boy. Is not a question." I sighed and rubbed the back of my head.

"Well, I guess I just don't know what to do. I don't even know where to start!" I said, throwing my hands in the air in exasperation.

"I guess…I guess I'm asking you for advice." Oma nodded her head in thought before speaking softly.

"Well, I think you already have your answer." She said, turning to look at me again, her face serious. I scrunched up my nose.

"What do you mean? I wouldn't have asked you if I-" I started, but Oma interrupted me.

"Do you love this boy?" I felt my cheeks flare with heat, and I nodded my head sheepishly.

"And does he love you?" I nodded my head again.

"I-I think so, but-" Oma held up a hand.

"Then you have your answer. Love has no boundaries, love can overcome any obstacles." And with that she went back to stirring, as silent as a fox. I thought about her words for a moment. I mulled them over in mind, twisting them around and pulling them apart. _"Do you love this boy?"_

I nodded my head again. Yes. I think I understood now.

"Thank you Oma." She turned and smiled again as I got up and went to my room and began to pack my things.

I stood on the stone steps up to Oma and Mutti's house. Alfonse, Josiah, Abraham, Kizzy and Gertrude were all hugging me, tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces.

"Good luck, Ciel! We wish you luck on your voyage! Have faith in your journey!" As I turned away from them, Alfonse whispered in my ear in Danish words so no one else could hear, "_go get him, tiger~"_ I blushed madly and swatted him away.

"Oh shoosh!" the boy giggled and hopped back to his place, waving me off. As I turned away, again I was assaulted, but this time by two sets of large, comforting arms.

"You didn't think you could get away so easily, did you!"

"Yes, how could you forget about us?" Mutti mock-cried. Oma hit her lightly on the shoulder.

"Oh come off it, he's a young boy in love!" the two women chuckled heartily at my reddening cheeks and they both gave me a good-bye kiss. I felt Oma press something into my palm as she walked away.

"Don't forget this, _mien wenig engel_!" As I walked away I opened my palm a stared in wonder at a small, heart-shaped locket. I grinned and clasped it around my neck. I looked to the brightening sky high above me as I took my first step closer to _Sebastian_.

It had been three weeks since I started my search, and I had come up with nothing. Frou Red had suggested to me to search in Paris, or France in general; she didn't think that he'd have left his home country. But France was so huge! How could I find a single person in the thousands, millions of its inhabitants? My doubts were wearing me thin; everyday that passed made my heart ache without his touch, without his voice or his eyes. The only thing that stopped me from trailing from my search was the thought that every day I lived was bringing me closer to him.

I was staying overnight at an Inn outside of Paris. I had just gotten to the magnificent city two days ago, and had stayed at a different place every night under a different name. I started with the East side of the city and planned on working my way across, asking everybody I met and spoke with if they'd seen Him.

My search was to no avail. Nobody had ever heard of a man named "Sebastian" with burgundy eyes, no less. I was getting antsy. My money was running dangerously low, and I had been eating less and stealing just to make it through another day. The crowds of Paris were thick with people. Women and children, Men and boys, every and all walks of life traveled the streets. The only set back was the soldiers that paraded through every once and a while. Every time I saw one in their Wartime uniforms I quickly shuffled by and kept my gaze at the ground, trembling like a leaf.

"Hey boy, you look a bit thin. Do you think you could use some food?" I looked up and came face to face with a tall, handsome man with blonde hair, striking green eyes, glasses, and a toothy smile. I gave him a glare and held myself as tall as I could, which wasn't nearly as tall as this man (though I would never admit to that).

"What makes you think that? I'm no beggar." The man smiled even wider and chuckled softly.

"All I'm saying is that you look a bit Hungry. Maybe food, specifically isn't what you're craving?" The man grinned wickedly at my confusion. His hand snaked around my waist as he pulled me towards a tall, brick building.

"Come inside and I'll get you all warmed up." He said, his voice silky smooth. I tried to get out of his grasp.

"I'm sorry, sir, but its mid July and I think "warming up" is not something I need right now." I said quickly. I could see vaguely where this was going, and it wasn't anywhere I wanted it to be.

"Ronald, let the poor boy go, it's quite obvious you're not his type." A voice came from within in the door way as "Ronald" opened it. The blonde haired man pouted like a child.

"But he's so pretty! I just want him for my own!" The voice behind the door chuckled.

"Yes, yes well, why don't we let him in out of this heat, hm?" Ronald frowned and stomped like a little boy through the door and down the hallway. I attentively walked in and jumped as the door closed behind me.

"Ciel?" I turned toward the same voice as before. How could this person know me? But I didn't have time to contemplate this question as I was brought to the ground in a flash of electric-orange hair.

"Lavi?" I asked incredulously. The red-head looked up at me, tears evident in his green orbs and the biggest smile I had ever seen, plastered to his face.

"Ciel! I can't believe it; we all thought you were long dead after they took you and Sebastian away! But you're not, your right here! Wow. I can't believe this. This is crazy! To think that both of you managed to escape…just…wow. This is so fantastic!" Ciel's eyes widened at Lavi's words. Wait. He'd seen Sebastian?

"Lavi! Lavi, please tell me, how do you know Sebastian has survived?" I asked, my voice trembling. Lavi stared at me, dumbfounded for a moment before his face brightened up in recognition.

"Oh! He came here round about two months ago, now that I think about it, probably around the same circumstances as you, Ronald trying to seduce him, I suppose. He looked miserable, I gotta tell you. His eyes were all red-and not just the irises- looked like he hadn't slept in days! And he wouldn't stop talking about you, it was so sad. He really missed ya. Wait until he hears! Woo-hoo! Won't HE be just as happy as a clam!" I cut Lavi off from his blabbering by pulling him into a tight hug.

"Where is he? Please, oh Please tell me Lavi! I NEED to know!" I gripped his shoulders as I trembled with excitement. So he _was_ here, and probably close! Lavi smiled.

"Sorry little dude, I only know where he works, and as the sun is long since dipped down, curfew's up and he won't be working anymore. But I can show you his bakery bright and early tomorrow morning. How does that sounds?" I shook my head miserably.

"No! I need to see him now! How could I ever wait an entire night now that I know that he's so close!" I asked, eyes wide. Lavi just chuckled and ruffled my hair.

"Chill out, just think: one night of waiting and an entire lifetime with that dude. See where I'm going? It will make seeing him all the better." I sighed and nodded my head. Lavi was probably right, but that didn't stop my heart from racing in my chest, or my veins from going crazy with adrenaline and excitement.

I soon discovered that this building was a kind of brothel. I shuddered at the thought, but Lavi was the owner of the building and the business dedicated to the pleasure of every and any person that happened to walk past the blue door our front. Ronald Knox was a man Lavi had found on the streets of this great city, and had offered him a home-only to discover that the man was chronically horny. Ciel couldn't help but chuckle at this, and caught the reassuring gaze of his long-lost friend, whose eyes told volumes more than his words. They gave breath to his past, his sadness, his love, his freedom, and his imprisonment.

"Alright Ciel. Here's your room. Sleep tight, and I'll see you in the morning." I nodded and headed into the room. I turned on the lamp and laid down on the black-sheathed bed. I couldn't stop thinking about Sebastian. In less than twenty four hours, I would get to see him again, touch him again, _love_ him again. I smiled soundly and wrapped my arms around a fluffy pillow, closing my eyes and falling gratefully into a dreamless sleep.

The road was cobblestoned. There were tall, black lamp posts lining the sides of the walks, and small businesses and shops up and down the street. Lavi had said this was one of the many shopping districts of Paris, located in the center of the city with many attractions. I marveled at the beauty of this place. It was huge and full of life, it was amazing. Lavi claimed that Sebastian's shop was a bakery called, "Mon Pere Celeste" meaning, "My Heavenly". I smiled lightly, remembering when Sebastian had given me my name with such a similar meaning.

My fingers tingled and my heart beat erratically with excitement as I slowly approached my destination. The bakery was on the corner intersection of two streets. A blue sign was posted outside that read "Freshly baked bread and other goods". I turned to look inside. It was full of people; the small bakery had chairs and tables along the front creating a small café, serving treats and hot drinks to its customers. My stomach tumbled and flip flopped as I opened the door, and I jumped at the sound of the jingling bell above me. It had been years since I'd stepped foot into a bakery, and never had I been in one as marvelous as this one.

My eyes searched, straining around the small Café and bakery in search of him, but nothing familiar caught my eye. I balled my hands into fists and took one more swoop before sighing and taking a step forward. It was at that moment that I looked up, and spotted a tall, lean man with jet black hair carrying a tray of steaming cups over to a table, just a few feet in front of me. He wore a black, buttoned-down shirt with a blue apron tied around his thin waist. My breath caught in my chest, and my head began spinning. It was like everything was suddenly in slow motion. He very slowly straightened up from bending over to put the cups down, his long black hair shielding his face. I felt my heart racing against my ribs, and I was sure I would burst as realization and recognition burned through my body. My body was humming, and the world stopped turning for a just a moment, as I saw this beautiful man that stood not a body's length away from me.

"Sebastian." I breathed, my voice hardly coming above a whisper and inaudible amongst the noise of the café, but nonetheless, as if he'd heard me, that beautiful, beautiful man turned around and his magnificent, shinning burgundy eyes met my own.

There was a loud clatter as a tray fell to the ground, seeming to silence the whole room as everybody in it turned to stare at the man who'd dropped it. He was staring at me, his body began trembling slightly, and he took a step towards me, as if unsure whether or not he was seeing things.

"C-Ciel?" I couldn't take it anymore. I ran straight into his arms, gripping his waist with all I had, tears streaming down my face and my voice trembling as I spoke.

"It's me! It's me! Oh God, Sebastian, I-I can't believe you're really ali-" I was cut off from my hysterical rambling as soft lips crashed against my own. I didn't recoil from his touch as he pulled me close to him. I wrapped my arms around his long, pale neck and kissed him back with all I had. My heart was beating so fast, so, so very fast in my chest, soaring high above me. I felt like a bird, I felt like I could fly away at any moment.

It was when we heard whistles and claps from all around us that I remembered that we were not, in fact, alone, but in the middle of a café. We tentatively pulled away from each other, and I could feel a heat rising in my cheeks. Sebastian was crying, and I was crying, and the people around us were crying, and I was just so filled with joy I could hardly contain myself. I hugged Sebastian hard and he gripped me back, refusing to let go.

"Oh Ciel, oh I missed you. I never thought I would see you again." He whispered sadly into my ear. I felt more tears leak from my eyes and kissed his cheek.

"Me neither." I said breathily. Sebastian held me close and raised his head to the people at the café.

"Hello everybody! This is Ciel." Everybody in the café turned and smiled at me. I blushed profusely and smiled back at them. I couldn't even really feel embarrassed, I held to much happiness and love in my chest to feel anything else at that moment. Sebastian bent down and kissed me again, before picking up his tray and leading me to an empty table.

"Come on, I bet you're Hungry. Let me get you a treat."

***cries* hgDSZvfck I am still, like so totally freaking out. I love you all to death and NOT SO SURPRISE: There WILL be an epilogue. *eye brow waggle* a sexy smexy epilogue, mwahahaha~ please R&R to let me know what you thought. Was it a bad ending? Good? Baby, I gotta know! **


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